這是前些日子爆出已經被加拿大法院接理對藏傳佛教噶舉派法王的訟訴。(加拿大法院鏈接在此:https://www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/sc/21/09/2021BCSC0939cor1.htm?fbclid=IwAR2FLZlzmUIGTBaTuKPVchEqqngcE3Qy6G_C0TWNWVKa2ksbIYkVJVMQ8f8)
這位法王的桃色事件,我是幾年前才聽到。但,藏傳佛教的高層有這些性醜聞,我已經聽了幾十年。我以前的一位前女友也被一些堪布藉故上她的家摟抱過,也有一些活佛跟她表白。(這不只是她,其他地方我也聽過不少)
這是一個藏傳佛教裡面系統式的問題。
很多時候發生這種事情,信徒和教主往往都是說女方得不到寵而報仇,或者說她們也精神病,或者說她們撒謊。
我不排除有這種可能性,但,多過一位,甚至多位出來指證的時候,我是傾向於相信『沒有那麼巧這麼多有精神病的女人要撒謊來報仇』。
大寶法王的桃色事件,最先吹哨的是一位台灣的在家信徒,第二位是香港的女出家人,現在加拿大又多一位公開舉報上法庭。
對大寶法王信徒來說,這一次的比較麻煩,因為是有孩子的。(關於有孩子的,我早在法王的桃色事件曝光時,就有聽聞)
如果法庭勒令要驗證DNA,這對法王和他的信徒來說,會很尷尬和矛盾,因為做或不做,都死。
你若問我,我覺得『人數是有力量的』,同時我也覺得之後有更多的人站出來,是不出奇的。
我也藉此呼籲各方佛教徒,如果你們真的愛佛教,先別說批判,但如鴕鳥般不討論這些爭議,你是間接害了佛教。
(下面是我從加拿大法院鏈接拷貝下來的內容,當中有很多細節。)
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
F. Delay / Prejudice
CONCLUSION
INTRODUCTION
[1] The claimant applies to amend her notice of family claim to seek spousal support. At issue is whether the claimant’s allegations give rise to a reasonable claim she lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship, so as to give rise to a potential entitlement to spousal support under the Family Law Act, S.B.C. 2011, c. 25 (“FLA”).
[2] The facts alleged by the claimant do not fit within a traditional concept of marriage. The claimant does not allege that she and the respondent ever lived together. Indeed, she has only met the respondent in person four times: twice very briefly in a public setting; a third time in private, when she alleges the respondent sexually assaulted her; and a fourth and final occasion, when she informed the respondent she was pregnant with his child.
[3] The claimant’s case is that what began as a non-consensual sexual encounter evolved into a loving and affectionate relationship. That relationship occurred almost entirely over private text messages. The parties rarely spoke on the telephone, and never saw one another during the relationship, even over video. The claimant says they could not be together because the respondent is forbidden by his station and religious beliefs from intimate relationships or marriage. Nonetheless, she alleges, they formed a marriage-like relationship that lasted from January 2018 to January 2019.
[4] The respondent denies any romantic relationship with the claimant. While he acknowledges providing emotional and financial support to the claimant, he says it was for the benefit of the child the claimant told him was his daughter.
[5] The claimant’s proposed amendment raises a novel question: can a secret relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world be like a marriage? In my view, that question should be answered by a trial judge after hearing all of the evidence. The alleged facts give rise to a reasonable claim the claimant lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship. Accordingly, I grant the claimant leave to amend her notice of family claim.
BACKGROUND
[6] It should be emphasized that this is an application to amend pleadings only. The allegations by the claimant are presumed to be true for the purposes of this application. Those allegations have not been tested in a court of law.
[7] The respondent, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, is a high lama of the Karma Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism. He has been recognized and enthroned as His Holiness, the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa. Without meaning any disrespect, I will refer to him as Mr. Dorje in these reasons for judgment.
[8] Mr. Dorje leads a monastic and nomadic lifestyle. His true home is Tibet, but he currently resides in India. He receives followers from around the world at the Gyuto Monetary in India. He also travels the world teaching Tibetan Buddhist Dharma and hosting pujas, ceremonies at which Buddhists express their gratitude and devotion to the Buddha.
[9] The claimant, Vikki Hui Xin Han, is a former nun of Tibetan Buddhism. Ms. Han first encountered Mr. Dorje briefly at a large puja in 2014. The experience of the puja convinced Ms. Han she wanted to become a Buddhist nun. She met briefly with Mr. Dorje, in accordance with Kagyu traditions, to obtain his approval to become a nun.
[10] In October 2016, Ms. Han began a three-year, three-month meditation retreat at a monastery in New York State. Her objective was to learn the practices and teachings of the Kagyu Lineage. Mr. Dorje was present at the retreat twice during the time Ms. Han was at the monastery.
[11] Ms. Han alleges that on October 14, 2017, Mr. Dorje sexually assaulted her in her room at the monastery. She alleges that she became pregnant from the assault.
[12] After she learned that she was pregnant, Ms. Han requested a private audience with Mr. Dorje. In November 2017, in the presence of his bodyguards, Ms. Han informed Mr. Dorje she was pregnant with his child. Mr. Dorje initially denied responsibility; however, he provided Ms. Han with his email address and a cellphone number, and, according to Ms. Han, said he would “prepare some money” for her.
[13] Ms. Han abandoned her plan to become a nun, left the retreat and returned to Canada. She never saw Mr. Dorje again.
[14] After Ms. Han returned to Canada, she and Mr. Dorje began a regular communication over an instant messaging app called Line. They also exchanged emails and occasionally spoke on the telephone.
[15] The parties appear to have expressed care and affection for one another in these communications. I say “appear to” because it is difficult to fully understand the meaning and intentions of another person from brief text messages, especially those originally written in a different language. The parties wrote in a private shorthand, sharing jokes, emojis, cartoon portraits and “hugs” or “kisses”. Ms. Han was the more expressive of the two, writing more frequently and in longer messages. Mr. Dorje generally participated in response to questions or prompting from Ms. Han, sometimes in single word messages.
[16] Ms. Han deposes that she believed Mr. Dorje was in love with her and that, by January 2018, she and Mr. Dorje were living in a “conjugal relationship”.
[17] During their communications, Ms. Han expressed concern that her child would be “illegitimate”. She appears to have asked Mr. Dorje to marry her, and he appears to have responded that he was “not ready”.
[18] Throughout 2018, Mr. Dorje transferred funds in various denominations to Ms. Han through various third parties. Ms. Han deposes that these funds were:
a) $50,000 CDN to deliver the child and for postpartum care she was to receive at a facility in Seattle;
b) $300,000 CDN for the first year of the child’s life;
c) $20,000 USD for a wedding ring, because Ms. Han wrote “Even if we cannot get married, you must buy me a wedding ring”;
d) $400,000 USD to purchase a home for the mother and child.
[19] On June 19, 2018, Ms. Han gave birth to a daughter in Richmond, B.C.
[20] On September 17, 2018, Mr. Dorje wrote, ”Taking care of her and you are my duty for life”.
[21] Ms. Han’s expectation was that the parties would live together in the future. She says they planned to live together. Those plans evolved over time. Initially they involved purchasing a property in Toronto, so that Mr. Dorje could visit when he was in New York. They also discussed purchasing property in Calgary or renting a home in Vancouver for that purpose. Ms. Han eventually purchased a condominium in Richmond using funds provided by Mr. Dorje.
[22] Ms. Han deposes that the parties made plans for Mr. Dorje to visit her and meet the child in Richmond. In October 2018, however, Mr. Dorje wrote that he needed to “disappear” to Europe. He wrote:
I will definitely find a way to meet her
And you
Remember to take care of yourself if something happens
[23] The final plan the parties discussed, according to Ms. Han, was that Mr. Dorje would sponsor Ms. Han and the child to immigrate to the United States and live at the Kagyu retreat centre in New York State.
[24] In January 2019, Ms. Han lost contact with Mr. Dorje.
[25] Ms. Han commenced this family law case on July 17, 2019, seeking child support, a declaration of parentage and a parentage test. She did not seek spousal support.
[26] Ms. Han first proposed a claim for spousal support in October 2020 after a change in her counsel. Following an exchange of correspondence concerning an application for leave to amend the notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s counsel wrote that Ms. Han would not be advancing a spousal support claim. On March 16, 2020, counsel reversed course, and advised that Ms. Han had instructed him to proceed with the application.
[27] When this application came on before me, the trial was set to commence on June 7, 2021. The parties were still in the process of discoveries and obtaining translations for hundreds of pages of documents in Chinese characters.
[28] At a trial management conference on May 6, 2021, noting the parties were not ready to proceed, Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to April 11, 2022.
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
[29] To claim spousal support in this case, Ms. Han must plead that she lived with Mr. Dorje in a marriage-like relationship. This is because only “spouses” are entitled to spousal support, and s. 3 of the Family Law Act defines a spouse as a person who is married or has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship:
3 (1) A person is a spouse for the purposes of this Act if the person
(a) is married to another person, or
(b) has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship, and
(i) has done so for a continuous period of at least 2 years, or
(ii) except in Parts 5 [Property Division] and 6 [Pension Division], has a child with the other person.
[30] Because she alleges she has a child with Mr. Dorje, Ms. Han need not allege that the relationship endured for a continuous period of two years to claim spousal support; but she must allege that she lived in a marriage-like relationship with him at some point in time. Accordingly, she must amend the notice of family claim.
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
[31] Given that the notice of trial has been served, Ms. Han requires leave of the court to amend the notice of family claim: Supreme Court Family Rule 8-1(1)(b)(i).
[32] A person seeking to amend a notice of family claim must show that there is a reasonable cause of action. This is a low threshold. What the applicant needs to establish is that, if the facts pleaded are proven at trial, they would support a reasonable claim. The applicant’s allegations of fact are assumed to be true for the purposes of this analysis. Cantelon v. Wall, 2015 BCSC 813, at para. 7-8.
[33] The applicant’s delay, the reasons for the delay, and the prejudice to the responding party are also relevant factors. The ultimate consideration is whether it would be just and convenient to allow the amendment. Cantelon, at para. 6, citing Teal Cedar Products Ltd. v. Dale Intermediaries Ltd. et al (1986), 19 B.C.L.R. (3d) 282.
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
[34] Supreme Court Family Rules 3-1(1) and 4-1(1) require that a claim to spousal support be pleaded in a notice of family claim in Form F3. Section 2 of Form F3, “Spousal relationship history”, requires a spousal support claimant to check the boxes that apply to them, according to whether they are or have been married or are or have been in a marriage-like relationship. Where a claimant alleges a marriage-like relationship, Form F3 requires that they provide the date on which they began to live together with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship and, where applicable, the date on which they separated. Form F3 does not require a statement of the factual basis for the claim of spousal support.
[35] In this case, Ms. Han seeks to amend the notice of family claim to allege that she and Mr. Dorje began to live in a marriage-like relationship in or around January 2018, and separated in or around January 2019.
[36] An allegation that a person lived with a claimant in a marriage-like relationship is a conclusion of law, not an allegation of fact. Unlike the rules governing pleadings in civil actions, however, the Supreme Court Family Rules do not expressly require family law claimants to plead the material facts in support of conclusions of law.
[37] In other words, there is no express requirement in the Supreme Court Family Rules that Ms. Han plead the facts on which she relies for the allegation she and Mr. Dorje lived in a marriage-like relationship.
[38] Rule 4-6 authorizes a party to demand particulars, and then apply to the court for an order for further and better particulars, of a matter stated in a pleading. However, unless and until she is granted leave and files the proposed amended notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s allegation of a marriage-like relationship is not a matter stated in a pleading.
[39] Ms. Han filed an affidavit in support of her application to amend the notice of family claim. Normally, evidence would not be required or admissible on an application to amend a pleading. However, in the unusual circumstances of this case, the parties agreed I may look to Ms. Han’s affidavit and exhibits for the facts she pleads in support of the allegation of a marriage-like relationship.
[40] Because this is an application to amend - and Ms. Han’s allegations of fact are presumed to be true - I have not considered Mr. Dorje’s responding affidavit.
[41] Relying on affidavit evidence for an application to amend pleadings is less than ideal. It tends to merge and confuse the material facts with the evidence that would be relied on to prove those facts. In a number of places in her affidavit, for example, Ms. Han describes her feelings, impressions and understandings. A person’s hopes and intentions are not normally material facts unless they are mutual or reasonably held. The facts on which Ms. Han alleges she and Mr. Dorje formed a marriage-like relationship are more important for the present purposes than her belief they entered into a conjugal union.
[42] Somewhat unusually, in this case, almost all of the parties’ relevant communications were in writing. This makes it somewhat easier to separate the facts from the evidence; however, as stated above, it is difficult to understand the intentions and actions of a person from brief text messages.
[43] In my view, it would be a good practice for applicants who seek to amend their pleadings in family law cases to provide opposing counsel and the court with a schedule of the material facts on which they rely for the proposed amendment.
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
[44] As Mr. Justice Myers observed in Mother 1 v. Solus Trust Company, 2019 BCSC 200, the concept of a marriage-like relationship is elastic and difficult to define. This elasticity is illustrated by the following passage from Yakiwchuk v. Oaks, 2003 SKQB 124, quoted by Myers J. at para. 133 of Mother 1:
[10] Spousal relationships are many and varied. Individuals in spousal relationships, whether they are married or not, structure their relationships differently. In some relationships there is a complete blending of finances and property - in others, spouses keep their property and finances totally separate and in still others one spouse may totally control those aspects of the relationship with the other spouse having little or no knowledge or input. For some couples, sexual relations are very important - for others, that aspect may take a back seat to companionship. Some spouses do not share the same bed. There may be a variety of reasons for this such as health or personal choice. Some people are affectionate and demonstrative. They show their feelings for their “spouse” by holding hands, touching and kissing in public. Other individuals are not demonstrative and do not engage in public displays of affection. Some “spouses” do everything together - others do nothing together. Some “spouses” vacation together and some spend their holidays apart. Some “spouses” have children - others do not. It is this variation in the way human beings structure their relationships that make the determination of when a “spousal relationship” exists difficult to determine. With married couples, the relationship is easy to establish. The marriage ceremony is a public declaration of their commitment and intent. Relationships outside marriage are much more difficult to ascertain. Rarely is there any type of “public” declaration of intent. Often people begin cohabiting with little forethought or planning. Their motivation is often nothing more than wanting to “be together”. Some individuals have chosen to enter relationships outside marriage because they did not want the legal obligations imposed by that status. Some individuals have simply given no thought as to how their relationship would operate. Often the date when the cohabitation actually began is blurred because people “ease into” situations, spending more and more time together. Agreements between people verifying when their relationship began and how it will operate often do not exist.
[45] In Mother 1, Mr. Justice Myers referred to a list of 22 factors grouped into seven categories, from Maldowich v. Penttinen, (1980), 17 R.F.L. (2d) 376 (Ont. Dist. Ct.), that have frequently been cited in this and other courts for the purpose of determining whether a relationship was marriage-like, at para. 134 of Mother 1:
1. Shelter:
(a) Did the parties live under the same roof?
(b) What were the sleeping arrangements?
(c) Did anyone else occupy or share the available accommodation?
2. Sexual and Personal Behaviour:
(a) Did the parties have sexual relations? If not, why not?
(b) Did they maintain an attitude of fidelity to each other?
(c) What were their feelings toward each other?
(d) Did they communicate on a personal level?
(e) Did they eat their meals together?
(f) What, if anything, did they do to assist each other with problems or during illness?
(g) Did they buy gifts for each other on special occasions?
3. Services:
What was the conduct and habit of the parties in relation to:
(a) preparation of meals;
(b) washing and mending clothes;
(c) shopping;
(d) household maintenance; and
(e) any other domestic services?
4. Social:
(a) Did they participate together or separately in neighbourhood and community activities?
(b) What was the relationship and conduct of each of them toward members of their respective families and how did such families behave towards the parties?
5. Societal:
What was the attitude and conduct of the community toward each of them and as a couple?
6. Support (economic):
(a) What were the financial arrangements between the parties regarding the provision of or contribution toward the necessaries of life (food, clothing, shelter, recreation, etc.)?
(b) What were the arrangements concerning the acquisition and ownership of property?
(c) Was there any special financial arrangement between them which both agreed would be determinant of their overall relationship?
7. Children:
What was the attitude and conduct of the parties concerning children?
[46] In Austin v. Goerz, 2007 BCCA 586, the Court of Appeal cautioned against a “checklist approach”; rather, a court should "holistically" examine all the relevant factors. Cases like Molodowich provide helpful indicators of the sorts of behaviour that society associates with a marital relationship, the Court of Appeal said; however, “the presence or absence of any particular factor cannot be determinative of whether a relationship is marriage-like” (para. 58).
[47] In Weber v. Leclerc, 2015 BCCA 492, the Court of Appeal again affirmed that there is no checklist of characteristics that will be found in all marriages and then concluded with respect to evidence of intentions:
[23] The parties’ intentions – particularly the expectation that the relationship will be of lengthy, indeterminate duration – may be of importance in determining whether a relationship is “marriage-like”. While the court will consider the evidence expressly describing the parties’ intentions during the relationship, it will also test that evidence by considering whether the objective evidence is consonant with those intentions.
[24] The question of whether a relationship is “marriage-like” will also typically depend on more than just their intentions. Objective evidence of the parties’ lifestyle and interactions will also provide direct guidance on the question of whether the relationship was “marriage-like”.
[48] Significantly for this case, the courts have looked to mutual intent in order to find a marriage-like relationship. See, for example, L.E. v. D.J., 2011 BCSC 671 and Buell v. Unger, 2011 BCSC 35; Davey Estate v. Gruyaert, 2005 CarswellBC 3456 at 13 and 35.
[49] In Mother 1, Myers J. concluded his analysis of the law with the following learned comment:
[143] Having canvassed the law relating to the nature of a marriage-like relationship, I will digress to point out the problematic nature of the concept. It may be apparent from the above that determining whether a marriage-like relationship exists sometimes seems like sand running through one's fingers. Simply put, a marriage-like relationship is akin to a marriage without the formality of a marriage. But as the cases mentioned above have noted, people treat their marriages differently and have different conceptions of what marriage entails.
[50] In short, the determination of whether the parties in this case lived in a marriage-like relationship is a fact-specific inquiry that a trial judge would need to make on a “holistic” basis, having regard to all of the evidence. While the trial judge may consider the various factors listed in the authorities, those factors would not be treated as a checklist and no single factor or category of factors would be treated as being decisive.
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
[51] In this case, many of the Molodowich factors are missing:
a) The parties never lived under the same roof. They never slept together. They were never in the same place at the same time during the relationship. The last time they saw each other in person was in November 2017, before the relationship began.
b) The parties never had consensual sex. They did not hug, kiss or hold hands. With the exception of the alleged sexual assault, they never touched one another physically.
c) The parties expressed care and affection for one another, but they rarely shared personal information or interest in their lives outside of their direct topic of communication. They did not write about their families, their friends, their religious beliefs or their work.
d) They expressed concern and support for one another when the other felt unwell or experienced health issues, but they did not provide any care or assistance during illness or other problems.
e) They did not assist one another with domestic chores.
f) They did not share their relationship with their peers or their community. There is no allegation, for example, that Mr. Dorje told his fellow monks or any of his followers about the relationship. There is no allegation that Ms. Han told her friends or any co-workers. Indeed, there is no allegation that anyone, with the exception of Ms. Han’s mother, knew about the relationship. Although Mr. Dorje gave Ms. Han’s mother a gift, he never met the mother and he never spoke to her.
g) They did not intend to have a child together. The child was conceived as a result of a sexual assault. While Mr. Dorje expressed interest in “meeting” the child, he never followed up. He currently has no relationship with the child. There is no allegation he has sought access or parenting arrangements.
[52] The only Molodowich factor of any real relevance in this case is economic support. Mr. Dorje provided the funds with which Ms. Han purchased a condominium. Mr. Dorje initially wrote that he wanted to buy a property with the money, but, he wrote, “It’s the same thing if you buy [it]”.
[53] Mr. Dorje also provided a significant amount of money for Ms. Han’s postpartum care and the child’s first year of life.
[54] This financial support may have been primarily for the benefit of the child. Even the condominium, Ms. Han wrote, was primarily for the benefit of the child.
[55] However, in my view, a trial judge may attach a broader significance to the financial support from Mr. Dorje than child support alone. A trial judge may find that the money Mr. Dorje provided to Ms. Han at her request was an expression of his commitment to her in circumstances in which he could not commit physically. The money and the gifts may be seen by the trial judge to have been a form of down payment by Mr. Dorje on a promise of continued emotional and financial support for Ms. Han, or, in Mr. Dorje’s own words, “Taking care of her and you are my duty for life” (emphasis added).
[56] On the other hand, I find it difficult to attach any particular significance to the fact that Mr. Dorje agreed to provide funds for Ms. Han to purchase a wedding ring. It appears to me that Ms. Han demanded that Mr. Dorje buy her a wedding ring, not that the ring had any mutual meaning to the parties as a marriage symbol. But it is relevant, in my view, that Mr. Dorje provided $20,000 USD to Ms. Han for something she wanted that was of no benefit to the child.
[57] Further, Ms. Han alleges that the parties intended to live together. At a minimum, a trial judge may find that the discussions about where Ms. Han and the child would live reflected a mutual intention of the parties to see one another and spend time together when they could.
[58] Mr. Dorje argues that an intention to live together at some point in the future is not sufficient to show that an existing relationship was marriage-like. He argues that the question of whether the relationship was marriage-like requires more than just intentions, citing Weber, supra.
[59] In my view, the documentary evidence referred to above provides some objective evidence in this case that the parties progressed beyond mere intentions. As stated, the parties appear to have expressed genuine care and affection for one another. They appear to have discussed marriage, trust, honesty, finances, mutual obligations and acquiring family property. These are not matters one would expect Mr. Dorje to discuss with a friend or a follower, or even with the mother of his child, without a marriage-like element of the relationship.
[60] A trial judge may find on the facts alleged by Ms. Han that the parties loved one another and would have lived together, but were unable to do so because of Mr. Dorje’s religious duties and nomadic lifestyle.
[61] The question I raised in the introduction to these reasons is whether a relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world can be marriage-like.
[62] Notably, the definition of a spouse in the Family Law Act does not require that the parties live together, only that they live with another person in a marriage-like relationship.
[63] In Connor Estate, 2017 BCSC 978, Mr. Justice Kent found that a couple that maintained two entirely separate households and never lived under the same roof formed a marriage-like relationship. (Connor Estate was decided under the intestacy provisions of the Wills, Estates and Succession Act, S.B.C. 2009, c. 13 ("WESA"), but courts have relied on cases decided under WESA and the FLA interchangeably for their definitions of a spouse.) Mr. Justice Kent found:
[50] The evidence is overwhelming and I find as a fact that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved and cared deeply about each other, and that they had a loving and intimate relationship for over 20 years that was far more than mere friendship or even so-called "friendship with benefits". I accept Mr. Chambers' evidence that he would have liked to share a home with Ms. Connor after the separation from his wife, but was unable to do so because of Ms. Connor's hoarding illness. The evidence amply supports, and I find as a fact, that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved each other, were faithful to each other, communicated with each other almost every day when they were not together, considered themselves to be (and presented themselves to be) "husband and wife" and were accepted by all who knew them as a couple.
[64] Connor Estate may be distinguishable from this case because Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor were physically intimate for over 20 years, and presented themselves to the world as a married couple.
[65] Other decisions in which a marriage-like relationship has been found to exist despite the parties not living together have involved circumstances in which the couple lived under the same roof at previous points in the relationship, and the issue was whether they continued to be spouses after they took up separate residences: in Thompson v. Floyd, 2001 BCCA 78, the parties had lived together for a period of at least 11 years; in Roach v. Dutra, 2010 BCCA 264, the parties had lived together for approximately three years.
[66] However, as Mr. Justice Kent noted in Connor Estate:
[48] … [W]hile much guidance might be found in this case law, the simple fact is that no two cases are identical (and indeed they usually vary widely) and it is the assessment of evidence as a whole in this particular case which matters.
[67] Mr. Justice Kent concluded:
[53] Like human beings themselves, marriage-like relationships can come in many and various shapes. In this particular case, I have no doubt that such a relationship existed …
[68] As stated, Ms. Han’s claim is novel. It may even be weak. Almost all of the traditional factors are missing. The fact that Ms. Han and Mr. Dorje never lived under the same roof, never shared a bed and never even spent time together in person will militate against a finding they lived with one another in a marriage-like relationship. However, the traditional factors are not a mandatory check-list that confines the “elastic” concept of a marriage-like relationship. And if the COVID pandemic has taught us nothing else, it is that real relationships can form, blossom and end in virtual worlds.
[69] In my view, the merits of Ms. Han’s claim should be decided on the evidence. Subject to an overriding prejudice to Mr. Dorje, she should have leave to amend the notice of family claim. However, she should also provide meaningful particulars of the alleged marriage-like relationship.
F. Delay / Prejudice
[70] Ms. Han filed her notice of family claim on July 17, 2019. She brought this application to amend approximately one year and nine months after she filed the pleading, just over two months before the original trial date.
[71] Ms. Han’s delay was made all that more remarkable by her change in position from January 19, 2021, when she confirmed, through counsel, that she was not seeking spousal support in this case.
[72] Ms. Han gave notice of her intention to proceed with this application to Mr. Dorje on March 16, 2021. By the time the application was heard, the parties had conducted examinations for discovery without covering the issues that would arise from a claim of spousal support.
[73] Also, in April, Ms. Han produced additional documents, primarily text messages, that may be relevant to her claim of spousal support, but were undecipherable to counsel for Mr. Dorje, who does not read Mandarin.
[74] This application proceeded largely on documents selected and translated by counsel for Ms. Han. I was informed that Mandarin translations of the full materials would take 150 days.
[75] Understandably in the circumstances, Mr. Dorje argued that an amendment two months before trial would be neither just nor convenient. He argued that he would be prejudiced by an adjournment so as to allow Ms. Han to advance a late claim of spousal support.
[76] The circumstances changed on May 6, 2021, when Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to July 2022 and reset it for 25 days. Madam Justice Walkem noted that most of the witnesses live internationally and require translators. She also noted that paternity may be in issue, and Mr. Dorje may amend his pleadings to raise that issue. It seems clear that, altogether apart from the potential spousal support claim, the parties were not ready to proceed to trial on June 7, 2021.
[77] In my view, any remaining prejudice to Mr. Dorje is outweighed by the importance of having all of the issues between the parties decided on their merits.
[78] Ms. Han’s delay and changes of position on spousal support may be a matter to de addressed in a future order of costs; but they are not grounds on which to deny her leave to amend the notice of family claim.
CONCLUSION
[79] Ms. Han is granted leave to amend her notice of family claim in the form attached as Appendix A to the notice of application to include a claim for spousal support.
[80] Within 21 days, or such other deadline as the parties may agree, Ms. Han must provide particulars of the marriage-like relationship alleged in the amended notice of family claim.
[81] Ms. Han is entitled to costs of this application in the cause of the spousal support claim.
“Master Elwood”
台灣佛教徒人數 在 Facebook 的最佳貼文
#佛腦舍利
#慈悲人緣智慧財富圓滿
‼唯一聯繫方式與加入群組,洽小幫手line id:nini885888。
👉會裝藏完成後寄送,不需擔心裝藏問題,可以直接隨身佩戴或是佛桌供養皆可。
🏵裝藏包含財神甘露丸,觀音甘露丸,至少200顆佛血舍利,藏紅花。
💰請供價(小2顆) 660元
(大1顆)990元
佛舍利子介紹
兩千五百多年前,釋迦牟尼佛在古印度涅槃時,由自身釋放出三昧真火自焚,火化後其周身每一處每一處的骨、血、肉、髮、心臟……,皆因畢生戒、定、慧的圓滿修持,而形成「質能互換」不可思議的現象,即由「佛力心光」將「其遺骨」焠煉、變化出一顆顆圓潤、光明、莊嚴、晶瑩剔透類似「真珠、黃金般」的「堅固子」,因此通稱凡是釋迦牟尼火化後而在全身骨肉(遺骨)變化成如「真珠、黃金」般地一顆一顆的充滿佛的智慧、慈悲、光明能量的「結晶圓形顆粒」,為「佛舍利」,就是佛的「碎身舍利」,或稱為「生身舍利」-佛遺骨(佛真身舍利)之謂。佛的遺骨在沒有分散至世界各地供養前,保留佛遺骨的整體形態時,也稱為「全身舍利」。而後世衍生出具有「定力」的大修行人「死後坐缸」令「肉身不壞」,也稱為「全身舍利」(如中國廣東曲江南華寺六祖惠能大師、台灣汐止慈航法師等),但是又有近外道者知見不正,死後坐缸致使屍身成為硬屍、僵屍,不得名為「全身舍利」。
佛舍利(諸佛舍利子)的形成,不僅是出世在古印度的釋迦牟尼佛由畢生修持戒、定、慧圓滿成就而於火化後形成的「佛舍利」。佛舍利產生的「深廣功德意義」之「遠因」,乃是由諸佛在無量無邊劫以前,依布施、持戒、忍辱、精進、禪定、般若六度波羅蜜自利、利他究竟成就而圓滿成佛,當大菩薩成佛時,廣應十方世界中有緣眾生所感而普渡眾生。如在娑婆世界應宿緣眾生所感,而再次出現地球世界的古印度中成佛,而於火化後,獲得無量無數的佛舍利,供人天禮拜、植福。所以說,每一顆每一顆無論是大、是小的「佛舍利」,皆具備諸佛過去無量無邊劫中所修六度波羅蜜的圓滿功德,也具備釋迦牟尼佛「無緣大慈、同體大悲」、普渡眾生的「悲願力」。所以每一顆每一顆的佛舍利,皆充滿釋迦牟尼佛「大悲願力」所攝持的慈悲、祥和、智慧、莊嚴的「佛力加被不可思議的光明能量」,因此每一顆每一顆的佛舍利,皆有無量諸天、護法神將在守護、供養,凡是佛教徒都應該發至誠心恭敬頂禮、供養、守護佛舍利,獲福無量。
💐💐佛腦舍利
近幾年來,在北部、中部、南部舍利展中(如台中廣願地藏禪寺),又展示出台灣很少見到的佛腦舍利與佛血舍利。其中佛腦舍利呈現白色、乳白色、透明白色、淺綠色、深綠色、淺紅色、深紅色、黃色、淺黃色、淺黃透明色、橘色、黑色、淺紫色、深紫色、淺藍色、深藍色、深粉紅色、淺粉紅色、玻璃透明色、金黃色、金琉璃色、銀光色、淺流璃色……等十幾種乃至二十幾種圓潤色澤。
(1)佛腦舍利顏色為什麼會是彩色的?
在舍利展中有人問:佛腦舍利為什麼會是彩色的,佛舍利不是都是白色圓形的嗎?當知佛骨舍利是呈現圓形白色的,佛腦舍利子的形成許多彩色舍利子,正象徵著佛的無上智慧,具備無數方便權巧智慧(多彩色澤)利益無量眾生一樣。而佛腦舍利的「不斷增生」,亦象徵著佛普度眾生的無上智慧無邊無際無量增盛一樣。在「印光大師文抄中」記載,印光大師火化後所凝結的無數舍利子也是五彩的。佛腦舍利的色澤變化,更是「因人而異」,所以佛腦舍利色澤變化、增生的情形「因人而異」,與供養人的福德、業障、心態皆有關係。佛血舍利,也有玻璃透明色、紅色、綠色、透明淺黃色……等顏色變化……。
據佛經記載,舍利與佛法身之加持能力無二無別,大福氣者方能見聞,需百劫千劫中積累善法,修佛法者才能有此善緣。
·受天人護法和其他眾生的護持、尊敬,避免非人、魔障干擾;
舍利的作用,若持有舍利者
①可逢凶化吉,避災解難;
②受天人護法和其他眾生的護持、尊敬,避免非人、魔障干擾;
③重業輕報;可以用於佛像裝藏,淨靈等。
④持一句咒之功德,可增獲百千萬倍之功德,若造一句口業,也得百千萬倍惡業之過;
⑤身體有病者,喝經水泡之舍利的加持水可治百病,業力重者變輕;孕婦服用舍利子可避免難產,生下的孩子福德善根、安樂易養。
⑥人臨命終時若含服一顆舍利,此人可往生極樂世界,此屬業力較輕者或上等根基者,業力較重者不墮三惡道,來生得聞佛法,並即生解脫。相反若發心不清淨或不尊重佛舍利,舍利則會自己飛走,若具大信心者、具功德者或精進修佛法者,舍利會增生、增大。
舍利可放到潔淨的小瓶或小舍利塔中與經書、佛像等一起供養在佛案上,也可收在嘎烏盒(一種小金屬盒)中隨身佩帶。
什麼是舍利子?
舍利[梵sarīra;Buddhist relics] 又作“舍利子”。意為屍體或身骨,佛教稱釋迦牟尼遺體火焚後結成的珠狀物。後來也指高僧火化剩下的骨燼。舍利子印度話叫做馱都,也叫設利羅,譯成中文叫靈骨、身骨、遺身。是一個人往生,經過火葬後所留下的結晶體。不過舍利子跟一般死人的骨頭是完全不同的。它的形狀千變萬化,有圓形、橢圓形,有成蓮花形,有的成佛或菩薩狀;它的顏色有白、黑、綠、紅的,也有各種顏色;舍利子有的像珍珠、有的像瑪瑙、水晶;有的透明,有的光明照人,就像鑽石一般閃耀。白色的舍利子是骨骼的,黑色舍利子是屬於頭髮的,紅色的舍利子是肌肉的,也有綠色或五色班斕的舍利子。經上說,舍利子是一個人透過戒、定、慧的修持、加上自己的大願力,所得來的,它十分稀有、寶貴。
佛陀涅盤後,所燒出的舍利就有一石六斗之多,在當時有八個國王爭分佛陀舍利,每人各得一分舍利,他們將佛的舍利帶回自己的國家,且興建寶塔, 以讓百姓瞻仰、禮拜。另外,修行有成就的高僧及在家信徒,往生後也都能得到舍利。如中國的六祖惠能,近代的弘一、印光、太虛、章嘉等大師們,他們都留下相當數量的舍利。關於舍利子,首先可以肯定的是,至今還沒見到可信的嚴謹的科學分析報告來論述他的成因和化學成分,所以我們所能看到的各種言之鑿鑿,基本上僅僅出於推論,並不能夠作為完全可信的說法。醫學界曾經認為舍利子其實就是僧侶身上的‘膽結石’,這種假設是‘不科學的’。一位潛信佛理的醫生說,人體的腎結石或膽結石,幾乎部是過多的碳酸鈣結晶,人體一旦經過火化,在五百度的高溫下,都會化為灰燼。而舍利子剛好是相反,是人體在一千至二千度高溫下的‘結晶’所以與結石無關。但是不要盲信傳言所說的舍利子堅硬無比火燒不化,舍利子形成部位不同,各種品相不同,硬度質地也不相同。有的珍稀舍利子硬度極高,有的舍利還會長大、生小舍利,等等等等,這些豈是現代科學所能臆測的?舍利子的各種現象都表明不可能是結石,結石主要成分是鈣質或金屬鹽沉積,形態和水垢相似,也很易碎,這些東西在高溫下都會變成粉末狀的的氧化物.。結石病人數以千萬,但只有修行者才會有舍利子。
沒有佛堂,如何供奉舍利?注意事項!
沒有佛堂的師兄,可以用嘎烏裝藏舍利隨身佩戴。舍利即是佛身,平時要謹言慎行,不可殺生,洗澡、游泳不能戴,不淨行時不能戴,不可放在枕下,不可放在臥室(單身宿舍可以),不可放於褲兜等低於腰部的地方。如廁時不必摘下,但不可放在衣服外面。正常睡覺時可以佩戴,女師兄經期亦可佩戴。不戴時應放於潔淨的高處,不可與世間雜物同放。舍利隨身,所做善事的功德成百千倍增長,同樣,造了惡業的話,過失也是百千倍的加重!
為什麼放入藏紅花供養?
廣化法師:舍利是人天福田,保存舍利長留世間,是我們的責任。凡舍利,須即備香花供養,香花以藏紅花為上(浸過油的不能用),若無香花供養,舍利可能日漸消失。
台灣佛教徒人數 在 江魔的魔界(Kong Keen Yung 江健勇) Facebook 的最佳貼文
各位魔粉,今天談談『如何向宗教學習做行銷?』
我會從佛教徒人數下降的數據探討市場行銷的心法,一般人喜歡看數據來錯解現象的偏見,與及從錯誤源頭收集行銷資訊的危機!
這是網絡上截圖的台灣年齡群的佛教徒的數據,從1994年到2018年這二十多年間,19至29歲間的佛教徒比例一直下降,從1994年的32%下降到2018年僅僅的4%。
同一時候,民間信仰的數據從26%增加到49%,所以看起來好像是民間信仰的數據是從佛教那邊轉移過去的。
一些人的猜測是可能現在人對於佛教徒的定義比以前更精準,所以現在的人更能精準的認定自己是混了佛教菩薩崇拜的民間信仰,只不過以前的人以為自己是佛教徒,現在的人反而知道自己不是佛教徒,所以基本上佛教徒的人數其實沒有跌得這麼厲害。
但,真的有可能二十年前的民間信仰誤以為自己是佛教,而現在的年輕一代卻釐清了甚麼才算是真正佛教徒嗎?
請問民間信仰有需要去釐清自己是民間信仰嗎?
不可能啊!
而且做數據調查的人不應該幫人界定宗教界限的。
如果說是現代人釐清的宗教界定,但民間信仰只會跟佛教和道教混,為何道教信徒的數據卻二十年下來,都相對的穩定?
我還要提出一個可怕的看法:民間信仰幾乎不會進行這種釐清的教育,唯一會做這種教育的,就只有佛教徒而已。如果被佛教教育釐清了後,才再界定自己不是佛教徒,這就更加可悲,因為你的教育是教到把自己信徒送走。
其實類似的宗教年輕信徒遞減現象,不只是在佛教界,就算在美國,各個基督教教會都有討論年輕一代越來越不信聖經耶穌上帝的理由。但,這種討論大部份都是基督教教內精英分子所討論的,很多都會提出我們外人會覺得很奇怪的解釋,包括:
年輕人更喜歡罪惡的花花世界
(江魔註:喜歡花花世界不代表就不信上帝啊!)
年輕人不想相信上帝因為相信之後有生活會有很多束縛
(江魔註:這個是亂了主次,認為不想犧牲生活上的慾望而信上帝,實際上如果你真的相信這世界有上帝,就算你不想犧牲一些慾望,你還是相信上帝存在啊!)
信教的父母沒有好好的用身教建立基督家庭
(江魔註:這是個很危險的解釋,因為這些父母就是去你的教會,你把孩子不信主的罪歸咎給父母,父母是否就把罪歸咎回給教會呢?)
那些離教者不是真正的基督徒
(江魔註:這個是任何宗教都會用的爛藉口。請問你老公愛上妳,結婚後的第十年他出軌了,所以你會說十年前他愛上妳不是真的嗎?)
學校的無神論老師開始用思辨來質問他們的信仰
(江魔註:例如進化論,但進化論到了今天都還是在科學界屹立不倒。一神教的信徒會很想推倒進化論嗎?會!但如果進化論的證據不夠,科學界本身內部就已經有很多科學家,會排隊迫不及待的要推倒它。)
其實基督教教內的人要解釋一些對自己宗教不利的地方,更多的時候是不是用自己的理智,而是用自己的偏見來自圓其說。
為甚麼他們不能接受年輕人就是單純開始不相信上帝了?為甚麼不能接受這整個社會其實越來越不需要宗教了呢?
再說得直接點,任何產品都有其生命週期,宗教也一樣。
不少的佛教界對於年輕人信仰的討論,其實是會引用基督教的同樣操作,例如基督教對於吸納年輕人,會設計很多迎合年輕人口味的活動,例如音樂或演唱會等等。佛教界會有人反思在迎合年輕人口味的功夫上,佛教界似乎做得比基督教不足。
不過,其實在基督教教內也有人討論到底我們做這些演唱會或年輕人的聯誼活動,他們是來開心還是來尋找信仰?
老實說,如果我是個喜歡音樂的年輕人,我為何要到基督教內尋求音樂?如果我是尋開心的,我的選擇太多了,我不需要到教會或佛教中心去玩啊!
倒不如去聽沒有宗教色彩的演唱會,曲風可以更放;或者自己和朋友去卡拉OK,自己可以一飽亂飆高音的慾望,不會更享受嗎?
佛教界或基督教界內搞演唱會或搞音樂的,更傾向於是搞創作的人,自己對音樂的熱愛。
其實在馬來西亞的年輕一代佛教信徒數據,應該也是遞減的,只是可惜的馬來西亞沒有這方面的統計。
不過從各個馬來西亞大學內的佛教學會參與人數,歷史上告訴我們人數是越來越少,參與度越來越低。
然後會有很多佛教老居士的說辭,其實跟基督教教內解釋為何年輕信徒會流失的藉口差不多一樣,然後又建議可以搞多一點年輕人喜歡的活動云云。
其實任何一個宗教要對當時存在的社會環境適應,不是單純迎合眾生口味就行,就好像那個演唱會的例子一樣 —— 我要聽演唱會,幹嘛不要直接去聽正規的音樂會?
假設佛教界的人知道了現在年輕人喜歡手機玩遊戲,那麼是否就要設個佛教手玩就能解決問題?
你知道這些手機遊戲的設計是要花多少錢?
而好玩的手機遊戲往往不是佛教認可的課題?例如有色情或暴力元素。更何況現在手玩如此競爭,佛教或宗教界真的以為可以分一匙羹嗎?
然後這些佛教界內的高層再加多一個可以撇清責任的理由——「因為有付佛外道」的影響。
實際上,以我觀察佛教近年來的發展,特別是漢傳佛教的,我夠膽說就算沒有付佛外道,這些年輕人都依然會淡出佛教,也覺得佛教的魅力並非是吸引他們的信仰。
他們離開佛教的理由是相對的,不一定是世間紅塵比較吸引,有可能是佛教本身的魅力發育不良,甚至還有可能如同市場上的任何產品,都有其產品的壽命週期,而目前佛教未必能夠跟現代的年輕人接軌。
問題是 —— 佛教界的人要解碼這個問題的時候,是佛教界界內的人,用自己的立場在思考,用自己的偏見來分析,不肯理解離教者的感受,不想用教外的人怎樣看佛教的觀點來剖析問題,認為「我一生是從事弘法工作的佛教徒,只有我們佛教徒的看法是對的,其他人的看法都是有偏,甚至是有目的的」。
我講得難聽一點,讓佛教界進入這個瓶頸的,說不定就是這些教內的高人導致的。
你又怎能用同樣帶你進入瓶頸的偏見來幫忙你跳脫這個偏見呢?
我看到一些佛教徒看到年輕信佛的人數遞減時,他們會不禁的感慨「佛法這麼好的東西,為甚麼知道的人那麼少?」,包括一些佛教大師級的人物也講過這種話。
這個是我在《教主級NLP課程》中屢次提醒我的學生,一個教主不能夠比信徒更相信自己的教義,同理的,一個銷售員也不能比客戶更愛自己賣的產品。
如果你比你的客戶更愛你賣著的產品,你一定會陷入一個盲點:「為甚麼這麼好的產品,卻沒有人要?為甚麼?!」
我約炮范冰冰而被拒絕了,我不斷的思考「為甚麼范冰冰不要我堂堂江魔這麼優越的男人?」是一點用處都沒有的!
佛教徒再問「佛教這麼好,為甚麼信的人這麼少?」只會把自己引進更深的牛角尖。
首先「佛教這麼好」的思考,就已經是有偏見了。從同溫層的角度來說,「佛教這麼好」是互相取暖舔傷口的口號。
從宗教行銷的角度「佛教這麼好」,不能夠純由佛教徒來回答。你的產品好不好,不是你說了算,而是市場說了算。
「為甚麼信的人這麼少?」,這問題更加不能有佛教徒回答,而是要由兩種人回答:一,接觸過,但不想信佛教的人;二,從佛教退出來的人,也就是離教者,他們就有辦法講出很真實的答案。
但這是恆古不變的宗教盲點 —— 離開我們宗教的,都是宗教叛徒,是要下地獄的,我怎麼能夠相信這種人講的話?
#江魔設教
#廣渡魔粉
如果覺得我的文章有幫到你,你可以隨緣樂捐,打賞個小費給我吧:http://paypal.me/kongdemon
不打小費的話,麻煩幫忙點讚分享,好讓演算法幫我推文!