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【辱華の歌：有一個姑娘／張立穎 feat 幹真假】
中秋連假就是要聽這首
生而為人
你終究是要辱華的，
那你為什麼不一開始就辱。
原曲：還珠格格／有一個姑娘
改詞：台灣迷因
歌手：張立穎
--
ㄞˊ～咪咪老師重磅巨作的神曲又來了
這一次我們邀請到女神 ＠張立穎
以及 幹真假real FAKER
還有一位神秘來賓客串
請大家一起懷念他們吧！
【一切的失敗和不足，都是最美好的安排】
All Failures & Lacks Are The Best Things to Happen to Us
三個月前，收到來自台灣客人的這封電郵時，開心和心酸交織著在心裡。
開心，因為這是一年前通過Zoom視訊的客人。他居然在我們看八字的一週年，特地寫了封感謝函給我，真有心！
心酸，因為他寫在電郵裡的低落心情，我完完全全明白。
他的經歷，是我的曾經。我當初也是很難，很久才能走出來。
有一回，我為一位芳華正茂的女子批八字時，她很用心的寫下我說的話。
論寫筆記的完整，她是我客人當中的佼佼者。
寫到一半，我注意到她的右手開始微微顫抖。我以為是空調的風太大了，冷到她，便問她要不要披巾。
她說，是她的焦慮症發作。
「我沒在兇你，也沒對你嚴厲，你為何突然焦慮？」
「我.....打從今年疫情打亂了我的計畫，我就一直很焦慮。我覺得我很沒用，同學們都前進了，只有我現在什麼都不是，亂糟糟的。我就一直很緊張，萬一我一直都是這樣，怎麼辦？」
說著，她眼眶一紅，眼淚像斷了線的珍珠鏈似的灑下來。
我的媽呀！是我的樣子長得很催淚，還是我的聲音聽起來很虐心？怎麼客人，不分男女老少，東南西北，看到我好像都很容易哭？
我抓起一張紙巾遞給她。
「所以，我不是來了嗎？你來找我，就是要問個明路，而你很幸運那麼快就看到我啦！你看你的筆記寫得多工整，多齊全。我很多客人都不如你啊！我今天的工作，就是來給你答案的。我沒有把握，也不會接你這份差事。我接了，就代表還可以補救。你照著我的指示去做，一定柳暗花明又一村。」
又另一回，一位四十多歲的媽媽請我看兒子的八字。
我在批著八字時，這位媽媽點頭認同，然後就聲淚俱下。
我轉頭看著她沈默不語的先生。我說錯了什麼嗎？太太哭成淚人，你怎麼連紙巾也不拿給她啊？
「我是個沒有用的母親，很不稱職的母親。我沒有辦法教好孩子。我很愛他，可是很多時候我都不知道要怎麼做，我就會對他發脾氣，說狠話，過後我又後悔。我忍下來，可是後來還是會一樣！」
我沒打斷她，等她的哭聲逐漸小聲後，我柔柔的說：「我來啦！我坐在你前面了。你已經看到我，就是有辦法了。你知道你自己不行，會去找辦法，就代表你願意去學習做個好媽媽啊！」
我把紙巾遞給她，再說：「不要哭了，要不然，別人看了以為是我不要借你錢，才把你弄得那麼傷心。」
曾幾何時，我們都會以外在所擁有的，來定義自己的人生是否值得自己喜歡。
從原生家庭、樣貌、健康、身型、智力、天賦等，到後來的學歷、友情、事業、財富、婚姻、子女......
哪一樣沒有，而偏偏是我們最想要的，我們就會認定自己失敗的一塌糊塗。
我認為這就是普通教育最大的問題所在。父母老師都是這樣把我們「分門別類」的。值不值得父母疼愛或向親朋戚友炫耀，也離不開那幾點。
久而久之，我們也只會以「成功」來定義自己是否有價值，甚至來衡量自己是否有活下去的勇氣。
我比較喜歡佛法的定義。我們每個人都是一尊佛，六道眾生皆有佛性，只因一時的迷，因此墮落在苦輪不停的輪迴。
可正因為我們有佛性，我們都有無窮無盡的可能。每個人的內在有著很強大的力量，等著我們遇到明師後，去發掘、探索和了解。
而這天生俱來的力量，就是你改命立命的資本。
如果人生順風順水，我們永遠不會想要出離，誤把人間當極樂，所以一定要有苦，我們才會意識到，為什麼我們會在這鬼地方？要怎麼樣才可以離開這鬼地方去到極樂？
反過來，我們都應該感恩自己遇到的挫折，因為從這些苦中，我們才能生出智慧。
沒有一個八字是完美的。一切的失敗和不足，都是最美好的安排，如此你才會有出離心，返本歸源。
_______________________
3 months ago, when I received this email from my Taiwan client, there was this feeling of bittersweetness.
I was happy because this was the client I did a Zoom consultation last June. He sent me this email on the one-year anniversary date of our Zoom call, to express his gratitude. How sweet!
On the other hand, I could relate to the emotional turmoil he felt at that point in his life.
His experience was my past. It also took me a very long time to walk out from my gloominess.
Once, I analysed the Bazi of a very young lady. She was meticulously jotting down notes as I spoke.
Her detailed note-taking skills easily took the top place among my clients.
Halfway through, I noticed her right hand was trembling slightly. I thought it was due to the cold draft from the air conditioning, so I asked if she needed a shawl.
She replied that it was her anxiety disorder acting up.
“I was not fierce or strict with you. What caused your sudden anxiety?”
“I…ever since the pandemic disrupted my plans, I have been in this state of anxiety. I kept feeling useless. All my classmates are progressing expect me. I have nothing to show for and my life is in a mess. I am very anxious. What if I continue to be like this? What am I going to do?”
As she spoke, her eyes turned red and tears started rolling down like a broken strand of pearl necklace scattering onto the ground.
Oh dear! I am beginning to wonder if I have a tear-jerker face or a heart-tormenting voice. Why do my clients, regardless of gender and age, North South or East West, seem to cry easily when they see me?
I grabbed a piece of tissue and handed it to her.
“Ain’t I here already? You came to me for a roadmap and you are very lucky to see me so soon. Look at how precise and neat your notes are! Many of my clients aren’t even on par with you. My job today is to give you answers. If I didn’t have the confidence, I would not have taken up your request. Now that I did, that means there is still hope. If you follow my instructions, you will see things looking up very soon.”
On another occasion, a mother in her forties came to me for her son’s Bazi consultation.
As I was analysing, the mother nodded her head in agreement. The next thing I know, she started weeping loudly.
I turned to look at her husband, who had been silent all along. Did I say something wrong? And hello, your wife was crying. Why weren’t you gentleman enough to give her a tissue paper?
“I am a useless mother. I am incompetent. I do not know how to teach my son well. I love my son very much. But many times, I do not know what to do and thus I flare up at him and speak harshly. I always regret afterwards. I tried enduring but it still ends badly!”
I did not interrupt her and waited for her cries to soften, before speaking gently, “I’m here! I’m already sitting in front of you. You are looking at me now and that means help is here. You know that you are incompetent, so you went looking for solutions. That means you are willing to learn how to be a better mother!”
I handed a piece of tissue and said, “Don’t cry anymore, otherwise, other patrons will think that it’s because I refuse to lend you money.”
Since young, we have been using external possessions to define whether our lives are worth liking.
The family we are born into, our looks, health, body shape, intellect, talents, and then we move on to compare our academics, friendships, career, wealth, marriage and children.
If we are lacking in the area we covet most, we grade our lives as a failure.
I think this is the biggest problem in societal education. Our parents and teachers categorized us that way. Whether we as children are worthy of their love and bragging, depends on the few points above too.
Thus over time, we can only use the term “success” to determine whether we are of value, for some people, whether they should live on to take their next breath.
I very much prefer the definition in Buddhism. We are all Buddhas. Each and every sentient being in the six realms has a Buddha nature in them. But they got lost momentarily and fell into the endless wheel of reincarnation.
Yet, because of our Buddha nature, we have an unlimited source of potential. Every one of us has a very powerful strength inside us. It is just waiting for us to meet an accomplished teacher, so that we have the tools to explore and understand it:
And this strength that we are born with is the capital for us to transform and establish our own destiny.
If life is smooth-sailing, we would never want to leave and would mistake this mortal realm for Pureland. Thus, we all need sufferings, to realise that we should break out of this hell of a place. There has to be a better world somewhere. So how we get there?
We should, in fact, be grateful for all the setbacks and failures we have. Because it is from these sufferings, our wisdom arise:
No single Bazi is perfect. Every failure and lack we experience is the best arrangement for us, so that the heart of renunciation will arise in us and we will return to where we came from.
今天新品開箱來摟！ #統一陽光無加糖豆奶（鋁箔包）
這款很美的紫色小清新很厲害，是「首瓶」獲得「國際A.A. Clean Label驗證100%無添加」（A.A. CLEAN LABEL 100% *）
什麼是A.A. CLEAN LABEL？
A.A.為Anti-Additive，無添加的簡稱。
CLEAN LABEL是Clean Label Organization發展促進會的意思。
A.A. CLEAN LABEL致力於全球各地推廣無添加的精神，並以歐盟及聯合國警告的危害食品添加物“無”為標準，輔以潔淨標籤之概念，
輔導國際間有心發展「無添加純淨飲食之食品業者」，執行無添加驗證輔導。
這包括也通過台灣食藥署18大類，近800項的食品添加物通通都不含！
所以原料就是最單純的：水、非基因改造黃豆。 就是這麼簡單！（熟悉的迷因）
但要達到這麼單純就好喝，就像有功夫的老師傅能去蕪存菁地萃鍊背後要付出許多的心血努力才能達成，下次再來分享！
由於採用「無菌充填技術」因此對市售豆漿豆奶飲品容易擔心有添加物的朋友，大可放心了！可以安心選這款給小朋友急忙出門路上喝、放書包帶去學校喝。
一瓶250ml有8.5公克蛋白質，這個蛋白質的量差不多等於是半盒嫩豆腐、一杯茶碗蒸、270公克重的豆花、近280ml的全脂牛奶。
現在都不用那麼麻煩了，可以一包攜帶方便解決，真的太方便了！
有人會好奇說，為什麼說無添加但裡面還有碳水化合物4.2公克呢？ 那是因為食材黃豆本身就略帶少許天然的碳水在裡面，100公克生黃豆含有大約32.9公克碳水化合物其中膳食纖維含14.5公克。因此不用擔心是額外添加的游離糖喔！
這瓶喝起來即使是常溫，也是非常順口好喝，保留單純清爽的豆奶香還略略回甘！非常喜歡！！現在剛新上市，想搶先朋友，開箱體驗的話可以到MOMO購物搜尋「統一陽光無加糖豆奶」就可以馬上搬回家！
—
#改變造就蛻變 #AACleanLabel驗證百分之百無添加 #非基因改造黃豆
#個人化運動飲食安排有疑問者請先洽詢運動營養師。
#運動營養 #飲食諮詢服務 #營養講座
#促進運動表現飲食諮詢服務 #運動營養師 #競技運動營養師
#拼pin小教室 #北市大運科所 #SportsNutrition #SportsDietitian #SportsScience
#InBody570 #統一陽光豆漿 #健康志向
🔔 訂閱『瞎槓』Youtube頻道→ http://bit.ly/2PMUJfX
記得開啟小鈴鐺！才不會錯過最新影片！
✸ Instagram：http://bit.ly/2wnrN7r
✸ Facebook：http://bit.ly/3akD6Mi
✸ 合作洽談：shotgunlivehouse@gmail.com
📌 瞎槓熱門影片：
✰ 玖壹壹成軍血淚史，從臺中地下饒舌歌手成為Local嘻哈天團！
https://youtu.be/akMdyPmovrc
✰ 鮮蝦挺起來！feat. 台灣通勤第一品牌、反正我很閒
https://youtu.be/oxSdlDBfci0
✰ 加LINE叫過去！性愛世大運！Asiaboy 禁藥王 & Lizi 栗子獨家專訪
https://youtu.be/kusl_Kt_F0I
✰ 反正我們都很閒，那就秋out一下~ Feat. 反正我很閒
https://youtu.be/f063oykMlvI
✰ 大麻、前妻、基督教、謝和弦親自跟你說明白！
https://youtu.be/BQpeXNZpN0o
✰ 老王樂隊全員到齊，團員爆料批鬥大會開始！
https://youtu.be/JhO5vtYaLKM
✰ 大港開唱 & 覺醒音樂祭倒閉真相！feat. 張賽 ＆ 小黃老師
https://youtu.be/HR9h-s2MUsA
📌 瞎槓全集：
✰ 來賓棚內訪談｜瞎槓 LIVE HOUSE
http://bit.ly/2Q0M5e7
✰ 外景特派員｜瞎槓 TRIP：
http://bit.ly/2uVjFuA
✰ 獨立音樂每週情報｜瞎槓NEWS：
http://bit.ly/2POdxvs
#每週晚上九點
#訂閱開啟小鈴鐺
無理頭生活/搞笑校園短劇
▶綸綸個人社群 / 歡迎訂閱追蹤▶
Youtube ▶ https://reurl.cc/NjLbpq
TikTok ▶ https://vt.tiktok.com/S8KtB9/
Instagram ▶ https://instagram.com/jolly_idda?igshid=18ekjjlbmpagh
——————
#無厘頭校園劇場 #老娘就是帥 #綸綸老師 #tiktok #學生 #校園 #一飾多角 #搞笑 #抖音 #戲精 #栗子頭 #時尚 #台灣最帥最美中性女孩 #內心戲 #無理頭 #迷因 #孩子王 #綸綸無理頭劇場 #情感 #綸綸搞笑劇場 #綸綸面膜 #綸綸老師
🔔 訂閱『瞎槓』Youtube頻道→ http://bit.ly/2PMUJfX
記得開啟小鈴鐺！才不會錯過最新影片！
✸ Instagram：http://bit.ly/2wnrN7r
✸ Facebook：http://bit.ly/3akD6Mi
✸ 合作洽談：shotgunlivehouse@gmail.com
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
有投稿或業配宣傳需求的朋友歡迎直接來信到我們的粉專或信箱
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————————————
📌 瞎槓熱門影片：
✰ 玖壹壹成軍血淚史，從臺中地下饒舌歌手成為Local嘻哈天團！
https://youtu.be/akMdyPmovrc
✰ 鮮蝦挺起來！feat. 台灣通勤第一品牌、反正我很閒
https://youtu.be/oxSdlDBfci0
✰ 加LINE叫過去！性愛世大運！Asiaboy 禁藥王 & Lizi 栗子獨家專訪
https://youtu.be/kusl_Kt_F0I
✰ 反正我們都很閒，那就秋out一下~ Feat. 反正我很閒
https://youtu.be/f063oykMlvI
✰ 大麻、前妻、基督教、謝和弦親自跟你說明白！
https://youtu.be/BQpeXNZpN0o
✰ 老王樂隊全員到齊，團員爆料批鬥大會開始！
https://youtu.be/JhO5vtYaLKM
✰ 大港開唱 & 覺醒音樂祭倒閉真相！feat. 張賽 ＆ 小黃老師
https://youtu.be/HR9h-s2MUsA
————————————
📌 瞎槓全集：
✰ 來賓棚內訪談｜瞎槓 LIVE HOUSE
http://bit.ly/2Q0M5e7
✰ 外景特派員｜瞎槓 TRIP：
http://bit.ly/2uVjFuA
✰ 獨立音樂每週情報｜瞎槓NEWS：
http://bit.ly/2POdxvs
#訂閱開啟小鈴鐺
#獨立音樂每週新歌
