【玳瑚師父茶會課室】 《以茶會友–第八場 :新春大年初三餐會》
8th Recap : 2016 Lunar New Year Dinner With Master Dai Hu (English version below)
2016年二月十日,大年初三,玳瑚師父在新加坡文华东方酒店的MELT ~ The World 咖啡廳,舉辦了《新春大年初三餐會》。餐會開始前,出席者們和玳瑚師父互贈年柑賀年。
餐會當天,最年輕的出席者是兩位二十出頭的年輕人。她他們有這機緣來增長智慧,玳瑚師父為她他們高興。師父甚希望大家抱握青春的時光,主動去接觸佛法和玄學,因為趁早學習改寫自己的命運,這一生才會真正「出人頭地」。
其中有一位出席者,更被玳瑚師父點說,她臉上的光是眾人中最亮的,師父亦娓娓道出其原因,讓眾人了解先輩對後代的影響,原來是如此的密切!
餐會精彩回顧:
丙申年世界動態 ~
一、 哪兩個國家最好不要去?
二、 哪一地區的國家會有病毒感染?
三、 神洲大地會有什麽天災人禍?
四、 新加坡的哪一區會有瘟疫?
五、 猴子的年份,有何寓意?
六、 天災為何而來?
七、 有天災為何不一定是壞事?
丙申年家庭運勢 ~
八、 家中有寵物,為何會離婚?
九、 真心愛一個人,應該期盼她他幸福,不應該在爭吵時,白刀進去,紅刀出來。
十、 單身女子今年的愛情運。
十一、 屋子裡的哪一個方位,會問題多多?
十二、 家中大門開在哪一個方位會特別旺?
十三、 今年家中誰最旺?
十四、 家中哪一位成員,最易沖犯和生病?應該如何防範?
十五、 已婚男主人,丙申年裡的展望、問題及化解方法。
十六、 家中女主人,丙申年裡的展望、問題及化解方法。
十七、 家中長子,要事業與情場兩得意,一定要這麽做!
十八、 家中長女,丙申年裡的展望。
十九、 家中次子,要注意的事項。
現場答客問 ~
二十、 為何不同人拜太歲會在不同的日子?
二十一、 參加寺廟的謝太歲與安太歲同修,卻無法攜帶師父所交代的供品,怎麽辦?
二十二、原來犯太歲不祇是自己的生肖,這樣的情況也會犯太歲!
二十三、矛盾的生肖配偶組合,婚姻會時甜蜜,時有距離感。
二十四、玳瑚師父為何一直不缺錢?
二十五、如果自己今年宜守不宜攻,如何進行購屋換車的計劃?
二十六、怎麽樣的居住環境,是天然的美容師,讓女主人越來越漂亮?
二十七、為超市裡的肉類畜靈唸往生咒,可以怎麽做?
玳瑚師父亦開示在正月初九,供養南無天公玉皇大天尊的意義何在。
現場一位出席者,廖文豪先生,主動說出,在去年的新春餐會,玳瑚師父曾指點她他們夫婦倆,如何能夠互旺彼此,讓先生賺錢更容易,而太太的脾氣也會比較收斂。她他們照做後,果真很快就看到「效果」。廖先生更稱讚玳瑚師父在去年所做的預言一一都應驗,準確無比!
餐會後,玳瑚師父帶領出席者們去觀看設在酒店內的菩薩像。 兩歲孩童見到玳瑚師父向菩薩像合掌頂禮,竟也可愛地模仿師父,向菩薩像合掌禮拜,真是「近朱則赤」啊!
玳瑚師父細心地向大家解說,站立和坐立的佛像有何區別。他語種心長地提醒大家「我們本來就是清淨的。」,何以現在「處處惹塵埃」?人間沒有一樣東西或人,是屬於我們的,包括妳你最愛的孩子。不要一直想要留連在人間。
不要覺得自己一直都不夠,事實上「妳你已經很幸福了」。
人的毒,來自自心,所以能夠從内到外的排毒法祗有佛法,而不是什麼營業品或目前最流行的果汁。
妳你真的學會佛法,修行有成,就不再受五行的約束,也當然不用看風水或批命了。
----------------------
On 10th Feb 2016, the third day of the Chinese New Year, Master Dai Hu held a Chinese New Year Dinner Session at Melt - The World Cafe at Mandarin Oriental Hotel. The attendees and Master Dai Hu exchanged mandarin oranges and Chinese New Year greetings before the dinner session commenced.
The youngest participants that night were two youths in their early twenties. Master Dai Hu is glad for them, having the affinity to grow their knowledge at such a young age. It is Master Dai Hu's hope that everybody can make good use of their youth, to take the initiative to learn the Dharma and Chinese Metaphysics. The younger we begin, the earlier we can learn the ways to rewrite our destiny, and truly stand head and shoulder above your peers in this lifetime.
Master Dai Hu also pointed a participant out, for having the brightest facial aura among all present. He further explained the cause of it, and highlighted that the influence our ancestors have over the descendants is more intricate and closely knitted than many of us realise!
Highlights of 2016 Annual Luck Cycle Talk:
Global Outlook in the Year of the Fire Monkey ~
1) Which two countries should we avoid travelling to?
2) Which region of countries will see the occurrence of infectious diseases?
3) What natural disaster or man-made tragedy will surface in China?
4) Which region in Singapore will experience an outbreak of contagious diseases?
5) What is the implied meaning in a Year of the Monkey?
6) Why are there calamities?
7) Why is the occurrence of natural disasters not necessarily a bad thing?
Family fortunes in the Year of the Fire Monkey ~
8) Why would having a pet at home increase the risk of a divorce?
9) If you truly love a person, you should wish for his or her happiness, and not draw the dagger during fights and arguments.
10) How is the romance luck for single ladies this year?
11) Which sector in your house will bring you the most problems?
12) Which front door direction is the most auspicious?
13) Which family member will experience the most prosperity this year?
14) In the year 2016, which family member is at the biggest risk of getting sick and experience spiritual disturbance?
15) The outlook, obstacles and solutions for married men in this Year of the Fire Monkey
16) The outlook, problems and solutions for the woman of the house, in this Year of the Fire Monkey
17) To have success in both his career and love life, the eldest son must do this!
18) The outlook for the eldest daughter this year
19) The precautions the second son must take this year
Live Q&A
20) Why do diffferent groups of people make prayers to the Grand Duke of Jupiter, on different dates?
21) You took part in a temple puja, to thank the Grand Duke of Jupiter and welcome the incoming Grand Duke of Jupiter. But you are unable to bring the offerings, as suggested by Master Dai Hu. What should you do?
22) Clashes with the Grand Duke of Jupiter not only depend your Chinese zodiac sign. It could also happen in such situations!
23) A married couple, with contradictory zodiac signs, fluctuates between feelings of sweet bliss and emotional distance.
24) Why is Master Dai Hu never short of money?
25) If you have been advised to stay on the defensive this year, how do you proceed with your plans to buy a property or a car?
26) What kind of living environment is a natural beautifying tool, for the woman of the house to look more gorgeous?
27) The way to recite the Rebirth to Pureland mantra, for the numerous animal spirits in the meats, at a supermarket.
Master Dai Hu also expounded the significance of making offering to the Heavenly Jade Emperor on His birthday, on the 9th day of the Lunar First Month.
A participant, Mr James Liaw, voiced out his positive experience with Master Dai Hu, from last year's CNY dinner gathering. Master Dai Hu had advised him and his wife, on the ways to enhance prosperity for themselves and each other. Those recommendations would help Mr Liaw to make money easier and Mrs Liaw to be more even-tempered. The couple followed Master's advice, and indeed, witnessed the results in a short time. Mr James Liaw also praised Master Dai Hu for the accuracy of his predictions last year!
After the dinner session, Master Dai Hu led all participants to view statues of Bodhisattvas, which was placed in the hotel. Seeing Master Dai Hu put his palms together and bow in respect to the Bodhisattva, a two-year-old toddler mimicked the same act and adorably prostrated to the Bodhisattva too! It was a classic case of positive influence when one is with a good role model.
Master Dai Hu explained in detail to all present, the difference between a statue of a Bodhisattva in a standing position and one in a sitting position. He further reminded us that every one of us came from a original state of purity, but unfortunately got all tainted with the filth of the secular world. There is nothing in this world that absolutely and permanently belong to us, including your beloved children. Do not hanker after the life in this human realm.
Please do not keep feeling that you are lacking. In fact, you are already living a very fortunate life.
The poison in a man derives from his own heart. The only way to detoxification from inside out lies in the Dharma, and not some health food or the fruit juice of the moment.
When you genuinely learn the Dharma and attain true accomplishment, the bounds of the Five Elements will lose their grip on you. And when that happens, there will be no need to do a Feng Shui audit or destiny consultation anymore.
www.masterdaihu.com/8th-recap-2016-lunar-new-year-dinner-with-master-dai-hu/
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An incredibly beautiful, sad, brave, wise, inspiring post by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Early this year, I read her book 'Lean In', a book encouraging women to achieve their dreams and ambitions, and was so grateful it was written for such a time as this. I especially loved her chapter about David being so supportive of her. I'm still stunned by all that's happened to them.
Here's to beating the heck out of Option B.
Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband—the first thirty days. Judaism calls for a period of intense mourning known as shiva that lasts seven days after a loved one is buried. After shiva, most normal activities can be resumed, but it is the end of sheloshim that marks the completion of religious mourning for a spouse.
A childhood friend of mine who is now a rabbi recently told me that the most powerful one-line prayer he has ever read is: “Let me not die while I am still alive.” I would have never understood that prayer before losing Dave. Now I do.
I think when tragedy occurs, it presents a choice. You can give in to the void, the emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even breathe. Or you can try to find meaning. These past thirty days, I have spent many of my moments lost in that void. And I know that many future moments will be consumed by the vast emptiness as well.
But when I can, I want to choose life and meaning.
And this is why I am writing: to mark the end of sheloshim and to give back some of what others have given to me. While the experience of grief is profoundly personal, the bravery of those who have shared their own experiences has helped pull me through. Some who opened their hearts were my closest friends. Others were total strangers who have shared wisdom and advice publicly. So I am sharing what I have learned in the hope that it helps someone else. In the hope that there can be some meaning from this tragedy.
I have lived thirty years in these thirty days. I am thirty years sadder. I feel like I am thirty years wiser.
I have gained a more profound understanding of what it is to be a mother, both through the depth of the agony I feel when my children scream and cry and from the connection my mother has to my pain. She has tried to fill the empty space in my bed, holding me each night until I cry myself to sleep. She has fought to hold back her own tears to make room for mine. She has explained to me that the anguish I am feeling is both my own and my children’s, and I understood that she was right as I saw the pain in her own eyes.
I have learned that I never really knew what to say to others in need. I think I got this all wrong before; I tried to assure people that it would be okay, thinking that hope was the most comforting thing I could offer. A friend of mine with late-stage cancer told me that the worst thing people could say to him was “It is going to be okay.” That voice in his head would scream, How do you know it is going to be okay? Do you not understand that I might die? I learned this past month what he was trying to teach me. Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not. When people say to me, “You and your children will find happiness again,” my heart tells me, Yes, I believe that, but I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have said, “You will find a new normal, but it will never be as good” comfort me more because they know and speak the truth. Even a simple “How are you?”—almost always asked with the best of intentions—is better replaced with “How are you today?” When I am asked “How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am? When I hear “How are you today?” I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day.
I have learned some practical stuff that matters. Although we now know that Dave died immediately, I didn’t know that in the ambulance. The trip to the hospital was unbearably slow. I still hate every car that did not move to the side, every person who cared more about arriving at their destination a few minutes earlier than making room for us to pass. I have noticed this while driving in many countries and cities. Let’s all move out of the way. Someone’s parent or partner or child might depend on it.
I have learned how ephemeral everything can feel—and maybe everything is. That whatever rug you are standing on can be pulled right out from under you with absolutely no warning. In the last thirty days, I have heard from too many women who lost a spouse and then had multiple rugs pulled out from under them. Some lack support networks and struggle alone as they face emotional distress and financial insecurity. It seems so wrong to me that we abandon these women and their families when they are in greatest need.
I have learned to ask for help—and I have learned how much help I need. Until now, I have been the older sister, the COO, the doer and the planner. I did not plan this, and when it happened, I was not capable of doing much of anything. Those closest to me took over. They planned. They arranged. They told me where to sit and reminded me to eat. They are still doing so much to support me and my children.
I have learned that resilience can be learned. Adam M. Grant taught me that three things are critical to resilience and that I can work on all three. Personalization—realizing it is not my fault. He told me to ban the word “sorry.” To tell myself over and over, This is not my fault. Permanence—remembering that I won’t feel like this forever. This will get better. Pervasiveness—this does not have to affect every area of my life; the ability to compartmentalize is healthy.
For me, starting the transition back to work has been a savior, a chance to feel useful and connected. But I quickly discovered that even those connections had changed. Many of my co-workers had a look of fear in their eyes as I approached. I knew why—they wanted to help but weren’t sure how. Should I mention it? Should I not mention it? If I mention it, what the hell do I say? I realized that to restore that closeness with my colleagues that has always been so important to me, I needed to let them in. And that meant being more open and vulnerable than I ever wanted to be. I told those I work with most closely that they could ask me their honest questions and I would answer. I also said it was okay for them to talk about how they felt. One colleague admitted she’d been driving by my house frequently, not sure if she should come in. Another said he was paralyzed when I was around, worried he might say the wrong thing. Speaking openly replaced the fear of doing and saying the wrong thing. One of my favorite cartoons of all time has an elephant in a room answering the phone, saying, “It’s the elephant.” Once I addressed the elephant, we were able to kick him out of the room.
At the same time, there are moments when I can’t let people in. I went to Portfolio Night at school where kids show their parents around the classroom to look at their work hung on the walls. So many of the parents—all of whom have been so kind—tried to make eye contact or say something they thought would be comforting. I looked down the entire time so no one could catch my eye for fear of breaking down. I hope they understood.
I have learned gratitude. Real gratitude for the things I took for granted before—like life. As heartbroken as I am, I look at my children each day and rejoice that they are alive. I appreciate every smile, every hug. I no longer take each day for granted. When a friend told me that he hates birthdays and so he was not celebrating his, I looked at him and said through tears, “Celebrate your birthday, goddammit. You are lucky to have each one.” My next birthday will be depressing as hell, but I am determined to celebrate it in my heart more than I have ever celebrated a birthday before.
I am truly grateful to the many who have offered their sympathy. A colleague told me that his wife, whom I have never met, decided to show her support by going back to school to get her degree—something she had been putting off for years. Yes! When the circumstances allow, I believe as much as ever in leaning in. And so many men—from those I know well to those I will likely never know—are honoring Dave’s life by spending more time with their families.
I can’t even express the gratitude I feel to my family and friends who have done so much and reassured me that they will continue to be there. In the brutal moments when I am overtaken by the void, when the months and years stretch out in front of me endless and empty, only their faces pull me out of the isolation and fear. My appreciation for them knows no bounds.
I was talking to one of these friends about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave. I want option A.” He put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”
Dave, to honor your memory and raise your children as they deserve to be raised, I promise to do all I can to kick the shit out of option B. And even though sheloshim has ended, I still mourn for option A. I will always mourn for option A. As Bono sang, “There is no end to grief . . . and there is no end to love.” I love you, Dave.
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