【天青色等煙雨,而我在等你】(English writing below)
我看著客人眼淚
滴滴答答的打在桌面上
筆記本
濕了
本子上的字
糊了
她的心酸
猶如洪泉遇到崩裂的堤壩
一波一浪的破牆而出
一個被愛情辜負的女子
看了真是心疼
我不由自覺的
想到了自己
你懂我的
像我這樣剛烈的女子
爲了愛情
我絕不退縮
祇是一個勇字
又豈能成事呢
童年
過得心驚膽顫
家裡常吵得
雞犬不寧
爸爸沒想要
把我生下
媽媽常說
要把我趕出去
我很努力讀書
我很努力做個乖孩子
我覺得我做得很好
人小小本事很大
但這些終究無法
讓我在美滿的家庭長大
多少個夜晚裡
我被媽媽打得
想奪門而出
永不再見
可是想到誰來照顧她
我又忍下來
我很恨
為何我命運不如人
第一次談戀愛時
我是多麼多麼的雀躍
內心裡的煙花
不斷地爆開
我終於等到了
不再是
沒人要的孩子了
我終於
值得有人愛了
初戀的絢麗
卻也如七彩美麗的煙花
一聲巨響後
就消失在漆黑的夜裡
他常常在我面前
提到他如何深愛著
他中學時的校花
她是如此的美好
有一次
這校花來我們的學校
他得知後
破課室的門而出
沒見到她
他哭了一整個星期
心中的不安
讓我常常與他吵架
三年零八個月裡
我不是一個好女友
服滿兵役後
他喜歡上大學迎新會
的一位混血兒
後來
我和一位校友打了幾次桌球
某夜
他在ICQ向我索吻
對他的印象
就一落千丈了
(你以為老娘在賤賣嗎?)
不久一位朋友告訴我
他約會的對象
不只我一個
我有一位
很好很好的朋友
我在新加坡時
他常陪我
深夜打桌球到清晨
聊佛法聊人生
一起上佛學班
一起學國標舞
從未有一個人
如此瞭解我的心
如此照顧著我
但無所不談的當兒
他也不斷告訴
這麼多年來
他如何愛念著
一個女孩
對她始終無法忘懷
我又輸給
活在記憶中的人了
我這一份單戀
長達兩年
很磨人很磨人很磨人
差一點走不出來
第二次談戀愛
他常在我面前提起
一個他追了半年追不到的女孩
他說
有一天一定要去問她
為什麼不選擇他
在家裡的毒打
並沒有隨著我成人
而停止
後來拜師學藝
卻因爲品德不良
被師父一句
「你不是我要找的人。」
斷然吃了閉門羹
那天我哭得痛徹心扉
覺得自己
好像是
個沒人要的孩子
方文山因爲
八百年前
宋徽宗皇帝御批的這句
「雨過天青雲破處」
而在周傑倫《青花瓷》裡
寫了『天青色等煙雨,而我在等你』
他說
愛情里最無力的無奈
就是「等待」
天青色得等待
不知何時會降的雨
雨停
積雲散去
朗朗晴空中
天青色才能顯現
如同我
只能被动而安静的
等待着
不知何时才会出现的妳。
慢慢的
我開始認為
我這輩子等不到了
月老應該沒幫我
綁上紅線
學佛多年後
忽然恍然大悟
一個道理
没有东西是必须拥有的
沒有它
也不代表自己的不足
愛情
是一個填不滿的慾望
所以愛情劇長紅
在2015年2月21日年初三,根本上師蓮生活佛在台灣中天綜合電視台的訪談中說:https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I (時間12:08)
「師尊本身的愛是這樣的。我既然愛她,就是要她幸福,不是要佔有她,這種愛不是佔有,其實愛不是佔有。如果愛是佔有的話,那就是屬於慾望。如果愛不是佔有,我是祝福她,雖然我愛她,她不愛我,她愛別人,我就祝福她。如果愛別人會比較幸福,我就祝福她。這種愛就不是佔有的愛。如果是佔有的愛,一定會產生痛苦。」
原來我真正在等的
是自己
自己的智慧開了
心變闊達時
才不會讓他人決定
自己幾時可以幸福
可以幸福多久
命運在我手中
怎麼走本來就是我說了算
我輕輕的拿起桌上的紙巾,遞給女客人。她一把鼻涕,一把眼淚的向我道謝。
借了師父慣用的笑話,我柔聲細語的說:「別哭,新加坡缺水,要哭要到蓄水池哭,這樣我們可以少看馬來西亞的臉色做人。」
她破涕而笑。
我再說:「我看了妳的八字,現在又看到妳真人,勸你跟我講話老實一點,要不然我幫不到妳。妳明明一直做人家的小三,還敢跟我哭沒有男人要和妳結婚?妳不也偷偷拿了他不少錢嗎?我看妳明明就是一張愛錢的臉。」
奉勸各位大俠,在我面前,若要用眼淚爲武器,請三思,因爲虛偽的,我必定拆你面具。
..........................
I looked at the teardrops of my client, pitter patter onto the table top. My client's notebook got wet. The words got muddled.
All the pains in her heart were like the angry river crushing through a broken dam, tearing down the walls as the tears flowed.
To see a lady being let down by love was indeed heart-breaking.
I couldn't help but thought of myself.
You know me. An unyielding character like mine will not shrink like a coward in the name of love. Alas, there are things in life that can't be accomplished solely with courage.
My childhood was filled with a lot of fear. There were often quarrels at home.
My dad didn't want me to be born. My mum often said she wanted to chase me out of the house.
I studied very hard. I did my utmost to be an obedient kid, and I thought I did very well as young child but I was already very capable. However, all these were not enough for me to grow up in a complete family.
So many nights, I got beaten up so badly by my mum that I wanted to just break out of the door and never to see her again. But the mere thought of nobody looking after her pulled me back.
I hated so much. Why wasn't my destiny comparable to other people?
When I first fell in love, I was so elated. The fireworks in my heart exploded non-stop. I finally found someone. I was no longer that child which nobody wanted. I was finally worthy of someone's love.
The splendour of first love, however, was as temporal as the rainbow-coloured fireworks. After a loud explosion, it vanished into the darkness of night.
He would often tell me in my face, how much he pined for and loved his secondary school crush, apparently the prettiest and most perfect girl in school.
Once, this campus belle came to our school. When he got wind of the news, he dashed out of the classroom. Failing to see her, he cried for one whole week.
My insecurity caused me to quarrel with him often. In those 3 years and 8 months, I wasn't a great girlfriend. After his NS, he got together with a girl of mixed blood at his university's Orientation camp.
I played pool with a uni mate a few times. One night over ICQ, he teased me for a kiss. My impression of him dropped like hot cakes. Did I look like I was lelong-ing myself? Later, a girl pal told me that he was dating several girls at the same time.
I had a very good friend. Whenever I was in Singapore, he would accompany me to play pool till wee hours. We talked about Dharma, life, and we attended Buddhism and ballroom dancing classes together. I had never met a person who understood me and took care of me so well.
But among our endless conversations of everything and anything, he always told me how he still loved a girl from his school. He couldn't forget her.
Again, I lost to someone who lived in the memory of the guy I liked.
This one-sided love of mine burned for two years. It was very, very, very excruciating. I almost didn't make it out alive.
In my second relationship, the boyfriend would always tell me about a pretty girl whom he pursued for half a year, but failed to win her heart. He told me firmly that if he had the chance, he wanted to ask her why she did not choose him.
The abusive beating at home did not stop even after I grew up.
Later on, when I wanted to become Shifu's disciple, he turned me down flat because he didn't think I had good morals and values. He was blunt, "You are not the person I am looking for."
That night, I cried painfully hard. Suddenly, I felt like I was the kid from my childhood whom nobody wanted.
800 years ago, Emperor Huizong of Song Dynasty wrote in an imperial decree "雨過天青雲破處". It was this that inspired Vincent Fang (方文山) to write the lyrics 『天青色等煙雨,而我在等你』in Jay Chou's song 青花瓷 (Blue and white porcelain).
Vincent Fang said, the most powerless kind of helplessness in love was waiting.
The sky green colour had to wait for the rain, which it had no idea when it would arrive. After the rain stopped, the thick clouds dissipated, in the clear skies, the sky green colour would then be able to appear. This was just like how he could only passively and quietly wait, for his lady whom he had no idea when she would appear.
Gradually, I started thinking that in this lifetime, I would not be able to wait for that person to appear. Perhaps Yue Lao (the elderly celestial under the moon) did not tie the red string on me.
After many years of learning the Dharma, one day, I suddenly came to the realisation that nothing is a must to own.
Secular love is a black hole of desires. That is why romantic shows are evergreen.
On 21 February 2015, the 3rd day of the Lunar New Year, my Root Guru Living Buddha Lian-Sheng spoke in an interview with the Taiwan CTI Television Inc.: https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I (timestamp 12:08)
"My personal take on love is this. Since I love her, I will want her to be blissful, and not to possess her. Such love isn't possession. Actually love isn't possession. If love is possession, that belongs to desire. If love isn't desire, I will wish her well. Although I love her, she doesn't love me, but loves another person, so I will give her my best wishes. If loving another person brings her more happiness, I will wish her well. Such love isn't possessive love. If it is possessive love, there will surely be pain."
Then I realised, the one that I had been waiting all along for is myself. Waiting for my wisdom to develop, waiting for my heart to be more open, so that I would not place my happiness in the hands of another person, and let the person decide for me when I should be happy, for how long I can stay happy...
My destiny is in my hands. How it pans out is up to me to say.
I gently picked up a serviette from the table and passed it to my lady client. In a mush of mucus and tears, she thanked me.
Borrowing an old joke from Shifu, I gently told her, "Don't cry. Singapore lacks water. If you want to cry, you should cry at a nearby reservoir. This way, we don't have to see the colours of Malaysia in order to get more water."
She broke into a smile among her tears.
I continued, "After looking at your Bazi, and now that I have seen you in person, I advise you to be more honest with me, or else I will not be able to help you. You have all along been a mistress to other men, and you dare to come crying to me that no man wanted to marry you? Didn't you also stole some money from them? The way I see you, you obviously have a money grubber face."
My advice to all swordsmen: If you wish to use your tears as a weapon in front of me, think thrice. Because if you are a hypocrite, I will definitely rip your mask apart.
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一封給國家地理頻道「Dog: Impossible」節目負責人的公開信:
An open letter to the leadership team of Nat Geo Wild Dog Impossible:
Translate: Yu-Hwa Su 翻譯: 蘇昱華
Proof: Yen Ke 校對: 葛雁
The International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants (IAABC) applauds National Geographic’s mission to offer intelligent, relevant and captivating non-fiction entertainment. This is a crucial objective, especially as an introduction to children and viewers largely relying on television for their scientific information.
國際動物行為諮詢師協會(IAABC)對於國家地理頻道致力於提供電視觀眾正確知識與科學內容表示讚賞。這是一個非常重要的目標,特別是對依賴電視得到這些知識的兒童與其他觀眾們來說。
However, your stated mission is in direct conflict with your show Dog: Impossible. In fact, the irresponsible treatment of the dogs and people on this show flies in the face of all best practices in animal training and behavior. Rather than promoting science and scientifically-proven methodology, Dog: Impossible sacrifices learning science for more dramatic television.
然而,貴頻道所提供的節目「Dog: Impossible」卻與貴頻道「提供正確的科學知識」的一貫立場衝突。節目中對犬隻以及飼主的不負責處理方式與應有的動物訓練及行為操作的準則相違背。「Dog: Impossible」並沒有提倡科學以及經科學驗證的方法,這節目犧牲了對科學的學習,轉而追求吸睛的電視節目效果。
Matt Beisner appears to have no credentials or education in training and behavior, yet he refers to himself as a behaviorist. His claim that “energy is the one language that every animal on the planet speaks” makes clear he is not one.
Matt Beisner並沒有動物訓練或行為學的相關學習經歷與證照,卻宣稱自己是一位行為學家。從他的主張:「能量是地球上所有動物都會使用的共通語言」,便能明白他並不是行為學家。
His statement, “You don’t need tricks, you don’t need treats, you don’t need force,” shows just how unaware of his own actions he is. His misuse of scientific terminology leads viewers to believe they are learning demonstrated, safe and accepted strategies in helping their dogs. In fact, Mr. Beisner is forcing these dogs from start to finish of each episode. His own “tricks” are that of over-stressing dogs until they’re in a state referred to in psychology and science as “learned helplessness.”
他主張「你不需要技巧、零食、或蠻力 (去訓練狗)」,這顯示出他對於自己的所做所為一無所知。他對科學術語的濫用也會誤導觀眾,讓觀眾以為他們正在學習經證實有效而且安全可接受的方法來幫助狗狗。但這位訓練師在每一集節目上從頭到尾都是在逼迫這些狗,而他所擁有的「技巧」,就是讓狗進入過度緊迫的狀態,直到牠們進入心理學和科學上所指的「習得無助」(learned helplessness)狀態。
Learned helplessness occurs when a subject endures repeated aversive stimuli beyond their control. Originally thought to show a subject's acceptance of their powerlessness, for more than half a century it’s been known instead to be the emotional “shutting down” of the subject. Anxiety, clinical depression, and related mental illnesses are common consequences of this technique in humans.
「習得無助」發生在動物沒有任何控制權,且重複地被施加嫌惡刺激的時候。最初,人們認為習得無助狀態意味著動物「接受」了自身無法改變、無能為力的情形,超過半個世紀以來,人們認為這是動物情緒「關機(shutting down)」的表現。在人類身上,習得無助的常見結果包含焦慮、憂鬱症、以及相關的心理疾病。
Allow us to note some aspects of the trailer and his shows, but first, to point out a few well-documented and commonly understood aspects of dog behavior so that we may better make our points understood.
在我們解釋為何我們認為此節目的預告片與內容不適當之前,我們希望先闡述一些正確的犬隻行為常識,以便您能更理解我們的觀點。
Canine body language indicating stress and severe stress:
顯示出壓力以及嚴重緊迫的犬隻肢體語言:
Compressed bodies
Dry, raspy panting
Wide, open eyes with dilated pupils
Heavy drooling
“Whipping” head and body back, pushing off a handler in order to get away
Growling
Fighting
Biting
縮緊身體
急促的喘氣
睜大雙眼、散瞳
大量流口水
甩頭、用前爪推抱著狗的人以退後、試圖掙脫
低吼
打架
開咬
Eleven seconds into the trailer, Mr. Beisner rubs his hands together, smiling, and says, “This is going to be gnarly.” All professionals know from that statement what the series will spotlight: A poorly (if at all) educated non-professional pushing dogs way beyond therapeutic limits, in the name of “results.”
在預告片11秒的地方,Beisner先生搓手並笑著說「等一下會很精采喔」。所有專業人士都知道這句話代表這個節目的亮點將會是:一名缺乏適當教育的訓練師,逼迫狗到超過其能承受的極限,並把這樣的結果稱為是良好的改善。
Flooding, the term for inundating a subject with their fears, phobias and triggers, is ethically questionable at best, cruel and unnecessary, always. There's also a common danger of spontaneous recovery of the phobia. This is because flooding doesn't replace the fear-response with a different response, it just replaces it with no response. “No response” is simply suppression, not cure.
「洪水法」,指的是故意將動物置於恐慌或恐懼的觸發刺激情境,這樣的方法不道德、殘忍、而且沒必要。另外,恐懼的自發性回復(spontaneous recovery)也是洪水法常見的風險,這是因為洪水法並沒有將害怕的反應重新制約成其他不同的情緒行為,它只是讓動物沒有反應。「沒有反應」只是壓抑,動物並沒有因此感到不害怕或恐慌。
Throughout the trailer dogs are flooded with aversive stimuli such as other dogs, people and equipment, something an ethical professional would not, and could not do per any answerable guidelines of animal training and behavior care.
在整個預告片中,狗狗被迫接受各種嫌惡刺激的洪水法訓練,例如其他狗、其他人類和物品,這是具有道德的專業訓練人員不會做的,任何負責任的動物訓練及行為照護準則也不會如此建議。
Systematic desensitization and counterconditioning, gradual exposure to the feared object, and replacement of a negative emotional association with a more pleasant one, are the recommended techniques used to treat such fear and aggression cases, per all legitimate veterinary, training and behavior organizations.
系統性減敏與反制約,也就是逐步與少量的讓狗接觸其本來會害怕的事物,並且將引發的少量負面情緒與其非常喜愛的事物配對給予,是用來處理恐懼及攻擊案例的建議方法,也是每個好的獸醫師、訓練及行為機構會推薦的方法。
Beisner’s statement that “We know at the Zen Yard that dogs help other dogs come out of their shell and face their fear and get past their aggression” isn’t just scientifically unsupportable, his words ring hollow during the very scene playing while he says those words: Beisner restraining one dog, while his co-host pulls a leashed dog to the first in a completely unnatural gesture perhaps intended to either mimic natural dog greeting (it doesn’t) or to flood the heavily drooling dog who is unable to move or get away. The dogs end up in a fight. They have been set up to fail, and the outcome is inevitable.
Beisner宣稱「我們在Zen Yard(他的訓練中心)知道狗會去幫助其他狗融入外界、面對牠們的恐懼並且克服攻擊行為」,這句話不只是缺乏科學支持,在影片中他講出這句話時搭配的畫面,亦表現出他的說詞缺乏支持:Beisner限制了第一隻狗的行動,由節目的共同主持人以牽繩將另一隻狗以一個完全不自然的姿勢拉到第一隻狗身邊,他們可能是在試著模仿狗狗自然的社交打招呼行為(但並不是),或使用洪水法訓練那隻狂流口水(顯示牠很緊張)並且無法逃脫的狗。最終兩隻狗打起來,訓練師製造的這個情境,讓失敗的結果無可避免。
In the trailer, the assistant host, Stefanie DiOrio, states, “Nervousness can easily turn to fear which can lead to aggression.” This is an accurate statement, which is why it’s so confusing that the entire show would be predicated on pushing dogs to the very edge of survivable stress and into predictable aggression, doubling down on the issues that their owners are struggling with.
在預告片中,節目的共同主持人Stefanie DiOrio說「緊張不安很容易變成真正的恐懼,並且導致攻擊行為」,這句話是正確的,但也讓人更加困惑為何整個節目的走向都在將狗推向牠們所能承受壓力的極限、觸發根本可預測的攻擊行為、並使飼主所面對的問題加倍惡化。
We know that the dramatic changes in behavior, from stressed and wildly aggressive to “calm” dogs, make for compelling TV. To an average pet owner it looks like these dogs are making huge improvements. All clients just want their dog to “Stop being aggressive.” However, we also know that behavior suppression is not the same as behavior modification, that a stressed and shut-down dog is a more dangerous animal than one who is actively showing aggression, and that the long-term prognosis of this kind of intervention is poor for both the client and their dog.
我們知道行為上戲劇性的變化,從一隻緊迫且兇猛攻擊的狗轉變成“冷靜”的狗,這個過程代表了高收視率,在不十分了解行為學的飼主眼中看來,這些狗狗似乎有巨大的進步。飼主都只是希望他們的狗「不要再有攻擊性」,然而我們也知道單純抑制攻擊行為的出現,並不是真正的行為改善技術。舉例來說一隻高壓力但看似沒有反應的狗,遠比一隻會表現出攻擊性的狗要危險許多 (譯註: 因為這樣的狗可能會沒有徵兆地開咬),因此這種抑制攻擊行為的訓練法,以長遠來看對飼主以及狗狗都是有害的。
It is also worth pointing out that, like his predecessor, Mr Beisner’s assessment of cause for much of the issues he’s asked to address is simple, made especially clear in episode 4 where he not only saves a dog, he “saves a marriage:” Women are unable to effectively lead, must be stronger, must change their ways.
另一個值得注意的事是Beisner先生,如同他在同一個頻道的前輩,西薩,對導致問題的原因評估也過於簡化,例如第四集中他聲稱他不只拯救了狗狗,他還「拯救了這段婚姻」,因為女主人無法有效的領導狗狗,因此她必須更堅強,必須改變他們之間的相處模式。
Misogyny, it seems, cures dog behavior problems. Real exploration and explanation regarding the antecedents and consequences around behaviors are ignored in favor of client blaming.
這段貶抑女性的解釋,看起來似乎能改善犬隻的行為問題,然而關於行為問題真正的前因後果卻被指責客戶所取代,並沒有真正的被探討與解釋。
The clients on the show represent thousands of clients throughout the US and beyond with whom we work every day, helping them to help their dogs. Far from being dogs “other people won’t work with,” the dogs on your show are exactly the clients and dogs that IAABC Certified Dog Behavior Consultants, as well as all members of the American College of Veterinary Behaviorists, Certified Applied Animal Behaviorists, and other certified behavior specialists see and successfully work with every day.
節目中所出現的客戶正代表了我們日常工作中所會幫助的人們與他們的狗,呈現的就是我們在美國跟其他國家的上千位客戶。節目中所出現的這些有著行為問題的狗絕對不是「其他訓練師都不想要處理的狗狗」,事實上這些客戶與狗正是IAABC認證的狗行為諮詢師、美國獸醫行為學家、認證的應用動物行為學家或是其他受認證的行為學專家,每天工作的日常。
We do so using the best practices of our field (see https://m.iaabc.org/about/ethics/), adopted by the leading behavior and training organizations, without psychologically or physically harming the animals we work with.
我們在這個領域也使用最嚴謹的訓練師專業道德守則(英文版參見https://m.iaabc.org/about/ethics/,中文版參見https://reurl.cc/72eVkl),這個守則受領先的行為及訓練機構所採用,使訓練師與行為諮詢師在工作時,不對我們經手的動物造成生理或心理上的傷害。
The IAABC urges Nat Geo WILD to stop promoting this public miseducation. The tactics employed in the name of entertainment are unnecessarily harsh and potentially dangerous to the public, and they teach yet another generation of Nat Geo watchers absolutely incorrect and harmful practices.
IAABC呼籲國家地理頻道(Nat Geo WILD)停止傳播此系列誤導公眾的資訊。以娛樂包裝節目的策略對於觀眾是不必要的粗糙而且有潛在風險的,甚至是向頻道的年輕一代觀眾灌輸完全不正確且有害的做法。
It remains a mystery why your network is so intent on harming dogs. After years of Cesar Milan, to now bring in a man equally unskilled, who equates terrified, angry or entrapped dogs to his own addiction history is remarkable. Are we really satisfied conflating ego with compassion, self-focus with an understanding of animal behavior? Is this the “science” your mission stands for?
我們仍然不知為何貴頻道這麼多年來如此堅持持續傷害狗的這些作為。在西薩 (Cesar Milan) 的節目播映多年之後,現在又引進一個同樣缺乏正確訓練技巧,以自身藥物成癮困擾歷史去錯誤的同理恐懼或憤怒的狗的人。我們能接受一個膨脹自我,而非真正擁有同情心、適當自我聚焦、了解動物行為的「專業人士」嗎?這就是貴節目所宣稱的「科學」立場嗎?
The damage Nat Geo is doing to dogs by choosing this type of programming is astounding. We can only assume that the producers are unaware of this, as it’s hard to imagine such harm and cruelty would be deliberate.
國家地理頻道選擇製作這類節目對於狗狗的傷害甚鉅,我們只能假定節目製作人並沒有意識到這點,因為我們難以想像會有人故意去做這樣有害且殘忍的事情。
Would you show a reality program on heart surgery with a photogenic “self-taught” practitioner, simply stating the star was not a doctor before showing him mutilating a real patient?
想問貴節目是否會採用一個上鏡的“自學”外科醫生錄製心臟手術的實境節目,告知觀眾他並非真正的醫生,然後播放他對病患動刀的畫面?
I leave you with the clearest image of suffering and abuse from your trailer: the Aussie, stressed to the breaking point, thick ropes of drool streaming from its mouth, being choked by a slip lead to compensate for the host’s inability to even effectively muzzle a dog. This dog is at the point of collapse. This dog is being tortured, and that is not hysteria. That is an assessment by any educated measure.
作為結尾,我希望指出貴節目預告片中明確顯示出狗狗受苦或受虐的畫面:那隻澳洲牧羊犬已經瀕臨壓力的極限,您可以看到口水掛在其嘴邊 (大量口水為壓力徵兆),口罩因為沒有確實的配戴而滑脫,導致牠被勒到快要窒息,已在崩潰邊緣。具備專業與適當教育的人員指出,這隻狗因在節目上被虐待而情緒崩潰,並非其本身歇斯底里。
Please stop this cruel and dangerous programming. To do otherwise is to support that self-taught heart surgery and all the consequences it would bring; that this show is currently bringing to families struggling with their dogs.
Professionals refer to Cesar Milan’s influence on dog training as “job security” because so many dogs ruined or made far worse by his teachings are brought to us by well-intentioned, often weeping owners desperate for real help. Often it is too late.
請停止這系列殘酷且危險的節目。否則貴節目就等同於支持前面舉例的自學的心臟外科「醫師」進行手術一樣,這些危險的後果正由觀眾與他們的狗承擔。專業訓犬人士將西薩米蘭對訓犬的影響戲稱為「工作保障」,因為太多飼主使用了他教授的技巧後,狗狗的狀況變得更糟,而哭著迫切尋找真正的協助,此時通常都為時已晚。
We do not want more work due to this same phenomenon.
我們不想要因為這個節目帶來類似影響而接到更多工作。
We’d be happy to provide you with any education and resources you need to inform your producers about what would qualify as responsible, effective, safe and thoughtful work with the same “red zone” dogs you sell so well.
但我們很樂意提供貴頻道任何需要的教育與資源,讓您們的節目製作人對訓犬工作應有的品質有所理解,例如負責、有效、安全,並且理解到對於在節目中出現的這些「危險」犬隻,事實上有更合理的訓練方法。
Thank you for your consideration.
謝謝您的閱讀與理解。
Marjie Alonso
Executive Director, IAABC
For the Board of Directors
Marjie Alonso
IAABC執行長
代表董事會發言
learning helplessness 在 Racheal Kwacz - Child & Family Development Specialist Facebook 的最佳貼文
HOW DO YOU BUILD YOUR CHILD’S CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS?
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Learning to manage conflict is a skill that comes with a lot of time and practice!
It’s a muscle that won’t grow unless used a lot and if we are quick to swoop in and resolve it for them, then instead of learning how to, our children are instead learning helplessness.
“When I have a problem with my friend, I need mama to come help me fix it. I need daddy to right the wrong.”
Sometimes, our children even build up resentment because they might not feel the solution is “fair” or that they were heard or if that was even the problem!
***
A really good RIE tool I learned is to follow your child’s eyes.
Where is their focus? Are they looking to you for help or are they focusing on the object (it’s about the thing) or on something else (it’s about the relationship)?
Can you wait to see if this is something they can work out together even if there’s a bit of struggle and tussle and shouting (but physically safe)?
***
Come close, then take a little pause before saying, doing, intervening.
Your little one might just surprise you.
***
To learn more on raising calm, capable, confident and resilient little ones, join my Kidxy HELP! series. To register or to find out more, go to kidxy.com/rk
You got this, mama. 💪🔥❤️
learning helplessness 在 コバにゃんチャンネル Youtube 的精選貼文
learning helplessness 在 大象中醫 Youtube 的精選貼文
learning helplessness 在 大象中醫 Youtube 的最佳貼文
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learning helplessness 在 Learned helplessness: Examples, symptoms, and treatment 的相關結果
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