關於 night night meaning from a guy ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

［翻轉視界 8］逃離禁錮之地：離開北韓我學會自由與憐憫
　
“If you don't know the words, that means you don't understand the concept, and therefore, you don't even realize that concept is even a possibility.” —— human rights activist Yeonmi Park。
　
「如果你不知道某些詞彙，那就意味著你並不了解某些概念，因此你也不會意識到，那些概念可以是一種可能。」——人權鬥士朴延美
　
對出逃前的她而言，自由與溫飽是很奢侈的理念，更無法了解「愛」的全貌。當我們無法得知世界發生了什麼，無法想像那超越自身認知的世界，我們便無法真正地同理他人。今天我想邀請大家，以不同的角度，重新感受自由、溫飽與愛的可貴。
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
I was born in 1993 in the northern part of North Korea, in a town called Hyesan, which is on the border with China. I had loving parents and one older sister. Before I was even 10 years old, my father was sent to a labor camp for engaging in illegal trading. Now, by "illegal trading" -- he was selling clogs, sugar, rice and later copper to feed us. In 2007, my sister and I decided to escape. She was 16 years old, and I was 13 years old.
　
1. on the border with 鄰近邊界
2. labor camp 勞改營
3. illegal trading 非法的交易
　
１９９３年我出生在北韓的北部，一個名叫惠山的小鎮，鄰近中國邊界。我有愛我的父母與一位姐姐。在我１０歲大的時候，父親就被送去勞改營，因為他非法買賣一些東西。所謂的非法買賣，其實他是賣一些木鞋、糖、米，之後還賣了銅，只為了餵飽我們。２００７年，姐姐和我決定逃跑。她當時１６歲，而我１３歲。
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
I need you to understand what the word "escape" means in the context of North Korea. We were all starving, and hunger means death in North Korea. So it was the only option for us. I didn't even understand the concept of escape, but I could see the lights from China at night, and I wondered if I go where the light is, I might be able to find a bowl of rice. It's not like we had a grand plan or maps. We did not know anything about what was going to happen. Imagine your apartment building caught fire. I mean, what would you do? Would you stay there to be burned, or would you jump off out of the window and see what happens? That's what we did. We jumped out of the house instead of the fire.
　
4. in the context of 在⋯⋯的情境中
5. concept 概念；觀念；思想
6. a grand plan 一個遠大的計畫
7. catch fire 著火
　
你們要知道，「逃跑」這兩字在北韓意味著什麼。我們天天挨餓，而飢餓在北韓意味著死亡。所以逃跑是我們唯一的選擇。我當時還不了解逃跑是什麼意思，但晚上我能看見中國那邊的燈光，我想著如果我能到有光的地方，也許就能找到一碗飯。我們沒有什麼遠大的計畫或地圖。我們完全不知道，接下來會發生什麼事。想像一下，你的公寓失火了，你會怎麼辦？你會坐以待斃，還是跳窗然後再看著辦？我們就是那樣。我們從大樓上跳了下來， 而不是等火燒上來。
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
North Korea is unimaginable. It's very hard for me when people ask me what it feels like to live there. To be honest, I tell you: you can't even imagine it. The words in any language can't describe, because it's a totally different planet, as you cannot imagine your life on Mars right now. For example, the word "love" has only one meaning: love for the Dear Leader. There's no concept of romantic love in North Korea. And if you don't know the words, that means you don't understand the concept, and therefore, you don't even realize that concept is even a possibility.
　
8. unimaginable 無法想像
9. no concept of... 沒有⋯的概念
10. romantic love 浪漫愛
　
北韓是難以想像的。對我來說，要回答住在北韓是什麼感覺，非常困難。老實說，我可以告訴各位——你無從想像。沒有任何語言可以描述，因為那是個截然不同的星球，就像你現在無法想像自己在火星上的生活一樣。比如說，「愛」只有一個意思：愛偉大的領袖。在北韓沒有那種浪漫之愛的概念。如果你不知道某些詞彙，那就意味著你並不了解某些概念，因此你也不會意識到，那些概念可以是一種可能。
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
Let me give you another example. Growing up in North Korea, we truly believed that our Dear Leader is an almighty god who can even read my thoughts. I was even afraid to think in North Korea. We are told that he's starving for us, and he's working tirelessly for us, and my heart just broke for him. When I escaped to South Korea, people told me that he was actually a dictator, he had cars, many, many resorts, and he had an ultraluxurious life. And then I remember looking at a picture of him, realizing for the first time that he is the largest guy in the picture. And it hit me. Finally, I realized he wasn't starving. But I was never able to see that before, until someone told me that he was fat.
　
11. an almighty god 一個全能的神
12. tirelessly 不屈不撓地；堅忍地
13. a dictator 獨裁者
14. it hit me 突然想到、意識到 
15. resort 度假地（此處係指北韓獨裁者有很多度假別墅）
16. ultraluxurious 極其奢華的
17. have a…life 過著⋯⋯的生活
　
讓我再舉一個例子。在北韓長大，我們真心相信我們偉大的領袖是全能的神，他甚至能看穿我在想什麼。我在北韓甚至不敢思考。我們聽說他為我們挨餓、不眠不休地為我們工作，而我為此感到心痛。我逃到南韓後，有人跟我說他其實是獨裁者，他有很多車、很多很多渡假別墅，他的生活極為奢華。我記得自己看著一張有他的照片，第一次意識到他是照片裡體型最大的那個。這件事讓我大受打擊。那時我才終於了解，他沒有挨餓。但我以前總無法看清這些，直到有人跟我說他很胖，我才恍然大悟。
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
Really, someone had to teach me that he was fat. If you have never practiced critical thinking, then you simply see what you're told to see. The biggest question also people ask me is: "Why is there no revolution inside North Korea? Are we dumb? Why is there no revolution for 70 years of this oppression?" And I say: If you don't know you're a slave, if you don't know you're isolated or oppressed, how do you fight to be free? I mean, if you know you're isolated, that means you are not isolated. Not knowing is the true definition of isolation, and that's why I never knew I was isolated when I was in North Korea. I literally thought I was in the center of the universe.
　
18. critical thinking 批判性思考
19. revolution 革命
20. dumb 愚蠢的*
21. oppression 壓迫；壓制；欺壓
22. isolated and oppressed 與世隔絕的與被壓迫的
　
真的，要有人教我，他這樣叫做胖。如果你沒學過批判性思考，你看到的就只會是別人跟你說的。其他人對我提出的大哉問還有：「為何北韓沒有革命？我們傻嗎？為何歷經７０年的壓迫，卻沒人發動革命？」我回答：「如果你不知道自己是奴隸，不知道自己被與世隔絕、壓迫，你要如何為自由而戰？我的意思是，如果你知道自己被與世隔絕，那就表示你並非真的與世隔絕。與世隔絕的真正定義是無知，所以我從不知道，在北韓的我與世隔絕。我真的以為我們是宇宙的中心。

*dumb: https://bit.ly/3fG5XOk
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
So here is my idea worth spreading: a lot of people think humans inherently know what is right and wrong, the difference between justice and injustice, what we deserve and we don't deserve. I tell them: BS. Everything, everything must be taught, including compassion. If I see someone dying on the street right now, I will do anything to save that person. But when I was in North Korea, I saw people dying and dead on the streets. I felt nothing. Not because I'm a psychopath, but because I never learned the concept of compassion. Only, I felt compassion, empathy and sympathy in my heart after I learned the word "compassion" and the concept, and I feel them now.
　
23. inherently 與生俱來地
24. justice and injustice 正義與不義
25. psychopath 精神病患者
26. compassion, empathy and sympathy 憐憫、同理與同情*
　
我覺得值得分享的想法是：很多人以為，人類生來就能分辨是非對錯，懂得正義與邪惡的差別，我們值得被怎樣對待。我跟他們說：放屁。所有的事，所有的事都得經過教導，包含憐憫。如果我現在看見有人在路邊奄奄一息，我會不顧一切來救他。但我在北韓的時候，會眼睜睜看著有人橫死街頭，卻沒有任何感覺。並非因為我是心理病態，而是我從未學過憐憫的概念。只有在我的內心感受到憐憫、同理與同情，我才學會「憐憫」一詞與其概念，而如今我已能感受到這些。
　
*compassion: a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them

empathy: the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation

sympathy: (an expression of) understanding and care for someone else's suffering
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
Now I live in the United States as a free person.
　
現在我以自由人的身分住在美國。
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
And recently, the leader of the free country, our President Trump, met with my former god. And he decided human rights is not important enough to include in his agendas, and he did not talk about it. And it scares me. We live in a world right now where a dictator can be praised for executing his uncle, for killing his half brother, killing thousands of North Koreans. And that was worthy of praise. And also it made me think: perhaps we all need to be taught something new about freedom now. Freedom is fragile. I don't want to alarm you, but it is. It only took three generations to make North Korea into George Orwell's "1984." It took only three generations. If we don't fight for human rights for the people who are oppressed right now who don't have a voice, as free people here, who will fight for us when we are not free? Machines? Animals? I don't know.
　
27. agenda 議程
28. be praised for 因⋯⋯獲得讚揚
29. execute (v.) 處決
30. worthy of sth 適合某物或具有某物的特徵
31. fragile 脆弱
　
最近，自由國度的領袖，我們的川普總統，和我以前的神會面。他認定，人權沒那麼重要，不需排進議程中，所以對此他隻字不提。這嚇壞我了。我們竟身在一個獨裁者處決伯父還能獲得讚揚的世界裡，他殺害同父異母的哥哥、殺害成千上萬的北韓人民，竟還能得到讚揚。這不禁使我開始思考，也許我們現在都要學習自由的新涵義。自由很脆弱。我不想嚇你，但事實如此。短短三個世代，就讓北韓淪為喬治．歐威爾筆下的《１９８４》。只花了三個世代。如果我們不為人權而戰，不為受壓迫、不為無法發聲的人而戰，當身為自由人的我們不自由時，誰還願意為我們而戰？機器嗎？動物嗎？我不知道。
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
I think it's wonderful that we care about climate change, animal rights, gender equality, all of these things. The fact that we care about animals' rights, that means that's how beautiful our heart is, that we care about someone who cannot speak for themselves. And North Koreans right now cannot speak for themselves. They don't have internet in the 21st century. We don't have electricity, and it is the darkest place on earth right now. Now I want to say something to my fellow North Koreans who are living in that darkness. They might not believe this, but I want to tell them that an alternative life is possible. Be free.
　
32. speak for oneself 為某人發聲
33. alternative life 另一種生活
　
我覺得我們能關心氣候變遷、動物權益、性別平等諸如此類之事，真的很美好。因為，我們關心動物權益，就代表了我們的心地有多善良，也代表我們關心無法為自己發聲的對象。北韓人民現在無法為自己發聲。身處２１世紀的他們，沒有網路可用。我們沒有電，那裡是當今地球上最暗的地方。現在我想告訴那些生活在北韓黑暗中的同胞。也許他們不會相信我，但我想告訴他們，生命仍有其他可能——意即自由的生活。
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
From my experience, literally anything is possible. I was bought, I was sold as a slave. But now I'm here, and that is why I believe in miracles. The one thing that I learned from history is that nothing is forever in this world. And that is why we have every reason to be hopeful. Thank you.
　
34. slave 奴隸
35. miracle 奇蹟
　
就我的經驗，真的什麼事都有可能發生。我被人買走，賣給別人當奴隸。但我現在在這裡，這也就是為什麼我相信奇蹟。我從歷史上學到的一件事，就是世上沒有什麼是永恆的。而這也是我們無論如何都能懷有希望的原因。謝謝大家。
　
資訊出處：https://bit.ly/32p5HiK
　
圖片出處：https://bit.ly/32n2zEe
　
★★★★★★★★★★★★
　
如何增進同理心：https://bit.ly/34qSKnC
　
#ChangingPerspectives
#翻轉視界

★★★★★★★★★★★★

翻轉視界系列文章: https://bit.ly/3fPvKUs

Oh wow! I just realized this guy sounds so much like me!! Long long post! But good read though! (:

The phone rang.

She was sobbing badly on the other end of the line.

“I’m going over,” I told her and hung up before she could protest.

1am. It was going to be a long night ahead..

She was still crying when she opened the door. She looked so broken, so vulnerable. I didn’t have to know what was wrong, I just held her in my arms. She cried even more.

“He broke up with me,” she finally said.

I just kept quiet as she let it all out.. questions, tears, anger, hurt.

“Why does love have to hurt so much?”

“No, love.. doesn’t hurt,” I said gently.

“So says the guy who’s been single forever? What would you know about love,” she jabbed.

“So says the guy who’s been your friend though Mr now-ex-#4,” I grinned. “Love doesn’t hurt you.. it’s the person that doesn’t know how to love or appreciate love that hurts you. But love never hurts,”.

“You won’t understand, Matt,” she sighed, “you’ve never been in love…”

“That’s not entirely true, you know..”

“Wait what- so who’s this girl I’ve never heard abou-“

“What did you love about #4 anyway?” I interjected.

“I don’t know… he is just perfect. And I love him so much,”

“But you don’t know what it is that you love about him?”

“It’s just.. the feeling when I’m with him. It always felt right with him. He made me feel loved and I loved him too,”

“That’s it? Just a feeling?”

“Well.. yea. What were you expecting me to say?”

“.. something more specific, maybe? I mean, if you thought he’s so ‘perfect’, why’d he still chea- erm, why’d he leave you?”

“Because I’m just not good enough for him? I don’t know..” she paused. “What is love to you then…”

“Hmm.. to me, being together or in love with someone should be more that just a feeling.. it should also be about mutual understanding, acceptance, respect, commitment and trust.”

“That’s what all couples would hope and want their relationship to be like, Matt. But expectations and reality don’t always go together..”

“Or maybe.. someone’s just not trying?”

“Well if you think love is so simple.. why haven’t you been with anyone all these years?”

“I never said love was simple.. but I guess the reason why I’ve never been with anyone yet is because.. I already know exactly what I want,”

“You have.. a checklist?”

“Sorta. It’s not the typical kinda ‘I’d like a girl with long hair, nice smile, etc’ superficial checklist though,”

“Oh. What kind of list is it then?”

“It’s like.. a concept of love. Of what it is about a girl that will make me fall completely in love with her. A concept that has more than three specific reasons that would answer any question as to why I love her.”

“You have a concept of love?” she laughed. “Love isn’t a theory, Matt.. you can’t just classify love by a concept or definition, you simply feel it with your heart..”

“But you see.. the reason why I think there are so many broken hearts, is because people merely jump into a relationship when their heart feels a certain something towards someone. But I don’t think that’s love, that’s merely an infatuation. Personally, I believe there are more than three reasons and aspects that actually determines whether we really are truly in love beyond the superficial ‘I don’t know why I love him/her.. I just do’ reason,”

“That makes sense. So what exactly is this.. ‘concept’ of yours about?” she asked, genuine curiosity replacing her initial skepticism.

“I call it the 4+1 theory. The aspects that will determine if it’s true love or just a fickle infatuation. It’s based on this idea that whenever we like someone, if we really go deeper into what is it that draws us to him or her, we’d be able to find that one specific reason. That’s not love though. That’s merely an attraction or infatuation. But when more than three of the aspects from this theory are present, you’ll be pretty sure that it’s more than just a feeling. For me personally, this determines if I’ll ever fall in love with a girl…”

Mind. Heart. Body. Soul.

The mind aspect, to put it simply, is her intellect. But I don’t mean the academic smarts.. it’s the way she thinks, processes and analyzes things way beyond a shallow self centeredness. It’s the way she puts across her thoughts, not for winning an argument’s sake, but to really try to understand or even sensibly debate opposing views that might leave anyone reflecting on her words or challenge me to think differently. It’s the way she carries herself off with an aura of sophistication and enigmatic charm and no matter how much I might think I already know her or have her figured out, she’ll still surprise me with something unexpected. Good surprise. I like intellect. Personally, it takes a little more to intrigue me and stimulate my senses. If I can connect with someone and talk endlessly about the concept of nothing, then, only then, will we be able to talk about everything else.. and I think that’s incredibly alluring,”

“Ooh.. so my best friend’s sapiosexual too,” she teased. “But what about her likes and dislikes or like her personality.. does that go under the mind aspect too?”

“Well, that’s where the heart aspect comes in. The heart represents who she is by what she values or cares about. The things she likes, the things she dislikes. What really matters to her, as well as her insecurities and fears..”

She bit her lower lip - thinking. “But what if him knowing about my past and all my insecurities scares him or drives him away? Or what if he ever uses all of these against me if someday things go bad between us?”

“Erm.. you do realize that it doesn’t really matter now because whether or not he ever knew, he already chose to leave you right? But.. if he still or ever tries to hurt you in any way, then he is a fucking bastard and I will punch his face,”. I really meant it.

“I don’t think he even cares about me anymore,” she sighed, “maybe he never really did.. we were so.. different. I don’t know why I never actually realize it before,”

“Maybe because then, you were too ‘blinded by love’ to see, or you chose to conveniently ignore the differences. Honestly though, I think it’s critical for two people to understand each other’s heart and learn to accommodate each other’s differences rather than simply turning a blind eye or deaf ear ‘because I love him and that’s all that matters’. Because if two people are too different in the way they think, behave or live.. I reckon it will become a huge problem when the infatuation bubble bursts.”

“I don’t really understand..” she said.

“Let me just ask you this.. does he know how passionate you are towards the arts and music?"

“Well, no.. not really. He’s more the sports kind of guy and doesn’t like theatre and stuff so I didn’t want him to get bored if I talked to him about things he isn’t interested in..”

“Then i’m guessing he probably also doesn’t care or know the little things about you. Like how you’re afraid of the dark and why you’re actually scared of darkness.. how family and relationships are really important to you.. that ice cream is your happy pill. You know, I’m even going to bet that he doesn’t know you go to bed every night, clutching your phone just hoping and waiting for him to text you goodnight..”

She started to tear again, but I continued..

“You see, it’s not a matter of whether it bores him or not.. it’s a matter of whether he bothers or not. I mean, if he doesn’t even know these things about you, then he really doesn’t know you at all. How then can he say he loves you?”

“But I really loved him,” she murmured softly to herself .

“I know you did. I know you still do and it’s hurting you like shit. But you need to know that for any kind of relationship to work.. two people need to give and take. Sadly, with him, it seems like you’re the one who was always giving. If he actually really loved you back as much, he’d make a greater effort to close the gap and bridge the differences between you two. He’d want to hear what you have to say, he would actually consider your opinions, your needs and your feelings. He’ll not just tell you or text you that he loves you.. he’ll show it by the things he will do or be willing to do no matter how inconvenient or silly it might be, just because.. he knows it’ll make you happier or better. To me, when it comes to a relationship, the heart aspect isn’t just a feeling or who you/he or she is anymore. It becomes two hearts beating as one. Two people wanting to understand each other.. sharing the good, the bad and possibly a future together; actually bothering and supporting each other’s feelings, values, dreams, thoughts, emotions,”

She stayed silent for a long while before she looked up, holding my gaze.. there was this unspoken tension building before she finally spoke again.

“But.. what if something that’s important to me, is not something the guy might feel same way about?"

“Then I’ll try-” I caught myself. “I mean, if I were him. I’d try. I’d make the effort.. because it’s important to you and you’re important to me,”

She remained silent again. She wasn’t crying anymore but this time, the prolonged silence was starting to grow even more deafening.

“Matt,” she finally spoke - softly, “do you believe in love at first sight?”

“No.” I said flatly.

“Oh..” she sighed. “You know what you said about mind and heart.. it’s actually starting to sink in and I’m beginning to realize that maybe these two aspects weren’t exactly a big part of my relationship with him,”

“So what made you fall in love with him then?”

“Well.. don’t laugh, but I’ve always thought that with him, it was love at first sight. I mean, there was just this spark between us from the very first time we met,”

“Cos he was hot?” I scoffed.

“No.. don’t be an idiot,” she tried to hide her smile but failed. I rolled my eyes. “Okay fine, yea maybe that. But it wasn’t the only reason!”

I raised an eyebrow.

“He was really nice too! And he was always sweet to me,“ she began her defense case. “He always made me feel happy, secure and loved without even having to try, you know?” I just continued staring at her waiting for her to go on. “Oh never mind, you’d never understand..”

“Actually.. I do. And I think I now understand what it was that made you fall in love with him.

The body aspect.

The body aspect is about physical attraction, intimacy and presence.

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I don’t believe you can just “instantly know” you’re in love or that someone’s THE one just by “first sight”. No offense, but I think the whole love at first sight concept is bullshit that only exists in movies and fairy tales. In reality, it isn’t love. That very first attraction.. is probably lust. Lust at first sight”.

“What nonsense! It’s not like I was lusting over him from the very first time I laid eyes on him! Maybe it’s the case for guys.. I mean, sex is always on a guy’s mind whenever he meets a girl right? But it’s different for girls, Matt..” she protested.

“Okay. You know what.. since you brought up the age-old guys and sex debate, I’ll tell you this secret to clarify something about guys for the first and last time.. probably 99% of guys are naturally sexual. If you ever meet any guy who tells you he isn’t sexual at all, it’s not that he’s gay – no, gays are even more horny .. he’s likely to be a liar and you should be more wary of him. BUT! Here’s the thing.. even though guys are sexual by nature, it isn’t always the only or most important thing to a guy,”

“Really?” now she raised her eyebrow with that annoying smirk on her face.

“Oh come on, you girls know how it is, plus you aren’t exactly saint-like innocent either.. sometimes you see a hot guy and you start fantasizing or making statements like ‘omg have my babies’..”

“That…” she started blushing.

“That.. is exactly my point. It’s the same with guys. We might talk and think about sex a lot more openly than girls but it isn’t always the only thing on our mind. When I said it’s lust at first sight.. I didn’t literally mean you want the guy naked and in bed. What I meant is the momentary attraction or desire– he might be hot, he might be charming, he might have smiled at you that made you feel a certain way.. but that’s not love. That’s really just a superficial physical attraction. Saying “I’m in love” right there and then just completely takes the special meaning out of the word ‘love’. If you ask me, I personally think the process of loving or falling in love with someone involves discovering the person and then perhaps developing feelings. It could happen quickly or over a longer period of time, but not at first sight,”

“Hmm.. that does make sense,” she paused and then her lips curled up forming that annoying smirk again. “Oh wow, this is the first time you and I are talking about sex huh..”.

“You never asked..”

“Tell me then.. what is sex to you?”

“Sex.. to me, is merely a physical act. I am not part of the whole “sex is sacred/taboo” camp but then, I don’t take sides with the whole bed hopping culture either,”

“I can’t believe you just said that sex is merely a physical act..” she began in a disappointed tone.

“But sex really is just a physical act if it’s without emotions or feelings. And that is why I distinguish between sex and making love, the same way I clearly differentiate ‘loving’ and ‘being in love’ with someone,”

“Oh.” this time, she smiled. She understood.

“Don’t get me wrong.. I think physical intimacy is very important in a relationship but for me, the one physical aspect that matters the most.. is the physical presence. That, is also what I reckon made you fall in love with him.

“Okay this, I really want to know…” she said.

“The physical presence is simply being there. You want him to be with you. You want to be there for him. Because just being there with or for each other makes your day, or you as a person, a little better. You may act or behave a little different when you’re with him, but in a good way – in a way that you actually feel completely comfortable, safe and you. Perhaps even without you knowing, you smile more and laugh harder. You feel real, genuine joy. And even on days when the smile can’t happen, you know you don’t have to pretend to be okay or be self conscious in front of him; because its perfectly okay to be the way you are and feel when you’re with him. He cares about you and you feel loved when you’re with him. Sometimes, there are no need for words or explanations.. just his presence, him being there for you, holding you.. makes you feel better or believe that it’s going to be okay again. Because you’re not just holding on to someone for attention or sympathy.. you actually feel and believe that you’re holding on to a part of or the rest of your life..”

Which leads to the fourth aspect – soul.

The soul aspect to me, is the deepest form and the final affirmation that should answer any remaining doubt or questions as to whether we’ve truly fallen in love with a person.

It’s when you start noticing but still appreciate all the other little things, even the flaws - especially the flaws. It’s when you truly know a person stripped down of all their walls, exposed to their soul and yet still accept and love him or her. It’s a level of understanding and acceptance that goes beyond the “honeymoon everything is perfect” period.

It’s when you finally realize this one person is someone you can always and want to tell everything to, and you want to ask and know everything of him or her as well. It’s when you actually want to share your life and trust your secrets with this person; and you can. This someone is the first person you think of when you’re happy, sad or when something significant happens. This same person is someone you can call at 1am in the morning and they’d drop everything to make time for you, staying by you till the sun rises or you’re better again - as you would for him or her as well. This person cares and will listen. Will really listen, giving you their undivided attention and genuine love; not necessarily every time but any time you need him or her. This one person makes your problem their problem and they go through it together with you just so you don’t have to go through the pain and tears alone,”

It was at this moment, for the very first time, she looked at me in a different way but said nothing.

“You see, the soul aspect..” I continued, “is when you start to see and want to share the rest of your life with this one other. And not in a clingy “I can’t live without you” way, but in a way that I can still live my life without you as I have before I met you, but now that you’ve come to exist in my life, I see the possibility of a life with you and now I actually want to make decisions and live a life, continuing to create more moments and memories together with you”.

“Well.. so.. have you met this one person yet? I mean, I’m sure it’s almost impossible to find that ‘perfect’ girl who fulfills all of your four aspects of love right?” she mumbled. I could barely hear her. She wasn’t even looking at me anymore.

“No, it is not impossible and I don’t think its asking for too much. You see the thing about these four aspects is, we often and will find one or two aspects in many different people. And that alone may be enough to make us attracted to them or develop a crush on them. But really, that is not love at all. If we like a person because “he’s cute” or “the way she thinks”, that’s just us liking the body and/or mind aspect of a person. The reality is, we are always going to meet many people who possess these different aspects of mind, heart, body or soul. But on a rare occasion when you do meet someone who possess all these four aspects.. you’ll almost definitely know that he or she is not one of many but may just be the one. So personally, I won’t settle for anything less unless she possess more than three qualities. You know people write the symbol of love as < 3 (less than three), I actually think love should be more than three.. I define it as 4+1. “

“So what’s plus one?” she asked, still not looking at me.

“Plus one…” I trailed off – unconsciously.

“Matt?” she placed her hand on top of mine, finally looking me in eye again.

“Plus one.. is something only the one who's meant to be will ever know and hold the answer to”.

end.

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Some time Feb, I experimented writing in a different way.

I wrote a story.. 4+1.

It's a story that took me more than a month to 'finish' writing. It's a story that's personally very close to my heart - then and will always be.

Truth be told, it was a story written as a confession and answer.

To you who've followed and related to 4+1, I thank you for reading and allowing me to share this intimate chapter with you.

If you'd like to read my future writing, you can follow my facebook if you want to.

Love,
Matthew Zachary Liu

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